On Friday August 9th a group of our team went up to the bridge to jump. I stayed back. I not only had no desire to jump that week I also had a burning desire to not be around a lot of people. After spending five days with over 370 people I needed some space. In the end I spent the day with my brother at the hospital because a spider bite he had was becoming infected. It may not have been what I had in mind for the day, however it was perfect.
Friday August 16th I wake up knowing we are going to the bridge and still thinking I am just going along for the ride and to say hi to the guys and thank you to Matt for always finding time for my groups to jump. Eventually we get in the car and begin the drive up...
I was enjoying the very fast car ride when my body suddenly felt different. At first I thought I was just getting queasy because of all the fast twists and turns of the highway up to Whistler but when I began to pay more attention to what I was really feeling it had nothing to do the the drive and everything to do with the fact that my body was preparing to jump.
I felt myself get nervous, excited, terrified and anxious all at the same time. My body knew I was going to jump long before my mind had come to the realization and agreement with itself. I had been battling with the idea of it all week. By the time I got to the bridge I knew I needed to do it even if it still took my mouth another 20 minutes to say the words out loud and commit to it.
This jump may have been my most "graceful" jump (I didn't flail nearly as much as the first two times) however it was also my most terrifying jump. My first jump I had a set release, my second was primarily adrenaline and excitement propelling me off the bridge, this time it was about letting go and purifying... although I am still not clear as to what I was letting go of.
Falling is just about the most exhilarating and terrifying feeling my body has ever experienced and this jump I felt it every second of the way down. Once I relaxed into the cord I had this overwhelming sense of ease and calmness come over me. I felt totally at peace and true to myself. Coming back up was when the purification came into play, the rain hit my face, drop by drop and cleansed whatever wonky energy I had going on from camp.
I am eternally grateful to the guys on the bridge who do such a brilliant job helping people take the step off the bridge into oblivion so they can feel what it's like to just let go and then be fully supported. Thank you Whistler Bungee!
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