Is Life a Competition?

"Do you by any chance have a tough time not comparing where you are in life to where others are?"

This was a question that I posed to a friend and fellow blogger the other day. I feel like I have asked myself this question so many times over the last year and a half or so. The trigger this time was a girlfriend and her finance who have just bought their first house.

There are things happening in my life that make me feel like I am accomplishing something and then there are times when I question where I'm at and if it's enough. 

I feel both very old and very young all at the same time. 

Old: (although I think mature is a more accurate word) I travel for work, my book is being published within the next week, I've spoken in front of hundreds of people... Kinda old and mature things.

On the flip side... I live at home, am currently single, have no major savings or major investments.

And then I look at my brother who is now a father and getting married in May and friends who have now bought a house and are getting married in June and other friends who own places and are in committed relationships and I wonder, what am I doing? AND then I wonder if I've missed the boat. OR does the boat come around frequently and I can just grab the next one? OR am I really meant to be on a completely different boat right now?!

In the end though it brings me back to the saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side" which then makes me think of the revision of said saying, "The grass is always greener where you water it" I am really very grateful for the life that I have. I have a job I enjoy, I have friends and family I love and who love and support me, I have my health and I have faith that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing to get me to wherever I need to go. Does it mean that I will never question myself again? NO! lol 

The little voice in your head that seems to always have a comment about everything will never go away- you better get used to it. You can however, talk to it and let it know that although you hear it you know better and are choosing to think differently. For me the conversations with my little voice happen every single day and multiple times a day at that!

Life is not a competition. Everyone is playing their own game!

Hot vs. Sexy; Is there a difference?

Two nights ago I went out with some friends to see a Guns 'N Roses tribute band perform.

I enjoy music but have never been one to follow any band really closely or even care that much to go to shows. I figured this would be a fun evening out with friends, and I could use one of those.

The opening band was good, I think... It was so loud and it just sounded like screaming to me so truth be told I really didn't care for them much. Their crazy long hair and swinging of said hair however, was a lot of fun to watch. I've been trying to grow my hair out for the past few years and these guys have way longer and would be nicer hair, if they styled it, than mine! I wasn't attracted to any of the guys in this band. They just didn't do anything for me. After all they all have nicer hair than me!

Then the tribute band got up on stage and actually did a really solid job. I obviously loved when they sang their more popular and widely known songs, which I actually knew. Now I'm not the biggest Guns 'N Roses fan so some people may disagree with me, but I  thought the lead singer sounded a lot like Axel Rose. Watching this band I was totally captivated him.

At one point the thought crossed my mind; he's kinda sexy, but not hot. This then caused me to think back to a conversation that I actually had with several different people around two years ago about wether there was a difference between the labels Hot and Sexy.

Is there?

Many people I spoke to believed that there is certainly a difference, however the only way they were able to explain it was to go through different celebrities and label them. Once they had done that for a few people they were able to explain it a little bit more.

My friend Shaun I think actually articulated it in the most concise way and pretty accurate way; "I think hot is like surface level where sexy is much deeper then that. Sexiness is a way of being, it's how a lady rocks what she's got."

For me hot is purely physical. Look at a picture of someone and say whether they are hot or not without taking their personality into account. 

Sexy is about confidence and charisma.

Can someone be Hot and not Sexy? Yes. Can someone be both hot and sexy? Yes. Can someone be neither? Yes.

Is it important to be physically attracted to the person you are dating? Yes. I believe that the person you date should fall into the sexy category if not both. Otherwise you've gotta have a different label for them without the scale; good looking, cute, pretty, attractive... 

Is it possible that someone becomes better looking as you get to know them? Yes. Is it possible that someone loose their sex appeal all together once they open their mouth? Yes. 

There are a lot if factors that go into the very judgmental process of labeling hot or sexy.

Examples of celebrities;
George Clooney- sexy; he has confidence, charm and talent.
Brad Prit- both; I think he's a great actor and I could also just stare at him.
Ashton Kutcher- sexy; I didn't even like him until I saw his acceptance speech for his award at the Teens choice awards, then he was sexy.
Channing Tatum- both; I could stare at him for hours but there's something about him that makes me curious and want to get to know him.
Jeremy Piven- sexy; I'm not even sure how to explain this one, I just think he's super sexy.

James Franco- hot; I'm not a big James Franco fan but give him props on his looks.

Kate Hudson- both; there's something intriguing about her and she's easy on the eyes.
Sandra Bullock- sexy; she could be both but her intelligence and depth tip her scale primarily to sexy.

Megan Fox- hot; I'm not sure I would put her in the sexy group, but she's stunning. 

Kristin Bell- both; her humility and humour make her totally sexy.

These are my own personal opinions and really mean nothing but I included them so you could get a sense of what I mean. 

When looking for someone to date the physical is one of four quadrants so it's important on it's own but becomes in more relevant when you add the other 3 quads...

What's your definition between hot and sexy? Who would you put where? 

Figure out where you stand and where you want to stand!