Penetrate

"The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth." -David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man p. 31

What a powerful statement.

Yes yes I know I am reading a book titled "The Way of the Superior Man" and that I am not a man. In truth this book has been mentioned to me so many times over the past year that when I finally found it in the book store I listened to the universe I bought it. Reading it is very interesting for me. I mean I am not the intended audience of the book and yet I am still learning things every time I open it.

The quote above got me thinking or I suppose it would be more appropriate to say feeling a barrage of emotions and thoughts. One of the first ones was, where are guys like this? and where can I get one? Now that I write that the image that comes up is a supermarket of guys; men just standing along the rows as if they are produce just waiting to be picked up by a female passing by. Terrible. Funny in a twisted way and terrible.

This now makes me think of what do I really think of guys and relationships? I mean if that's the image that comes up what the hell is going on with me! I am now at least aware of the fact that I would actually like to be in a relationship and that I currently have two barriers to work on. The first of which is my fear of getting hurt again. When the only personal experience of being in a committed relationship with a guy resulted in, I cannot even explain or describe what it resulted in... it was just not good, it then makes it slightly more challenging for me to trust another guy to not do that to me again.

My second barrier is my lifestyle. My mind just has a difficult time understanding how a relationship will work if I am never in one place long enough to really connect with someone. And now as I typed that the thought occurred that I have made some really deep and powerful connections with people who I have only just met and spent a week with before. And here's the kicker, if I want to stay connected to them I always find or create a way to do so. Interesting...