Great Read: "She Comes First"

Sex is one subject that every single person on this planet has in common. Wanna know how I know that? We are alive. Two people had sex, you won the race and were brought into this world.

Okay great. Now that we've established that let's talk about sex for a minute. How did you learn about it? Who taught you about sex? Women, did you know that the clitoris is the only human body part that's only purpose is to create pleasure? Men, did you know that?

I will not for one second pretend to know everything about sex. There is so much that I have not experienced and not learned about yet because, oh shocking- no one taught me about it. Now I am at a point in my life where I am comfortable enough with what I think, how I feel and what I want from sex that I can talk about it and ask about it and be really curious about it.

I have begun to talk about it more and more with different people and am discovering that it is something people really do want to talk about but don't always feel comfortable talking about. In talking to a friend about sex she recommended that I read this book; "She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman" by Ian Kerner Ph.D.

I finished the book in about two days. I was so grateful to not feel like I was dysfunctional because I have never had an orgasm through penetration. Reading this book gave me more confidence that I really do know my body and what works for me. It also gave me more understanding of my body, how it's designed and what to expect or try. 

Women- I recommend reading this book for all of the reasons that I just mentioned above. 

Men- I recommend reading this book for the intimate knowledge about female anatomy and the elusive art of bringing a women to orgasm. Do not skip the first part of the book where he explains all the parts of the clitoral network and jump to technique- get the basics, he wrote the book perfectly to guide you through from start to finish. 

If talking about sex makes you uncomfortable I've been there. I am not even sure when I came to the decision to be more bold about it and ask questions and just talk about it but I have and I am glad because I know that there are people who need it. 

If you wanna talk about sex I am open to hearing your stories, your opinions and how you think and feel about it. I am curious about sex but more importantly I am curious about people. My objective in beginning these conversations is for people to become more confident in their own stance about sex.

No words

I realize that the title of this blog is odd considering that this is a blog and therefore would require words... I am going to do my best to put into words how I am feeling right now.

Today is the day that I celebrate my birth. I was born on this day 28 years ago at 5:58pm in Montreal, QC. (The time is not relevant until a little later) My birthday celebration began last night with my tradition of dinner with my family. People often ask what I want to do for my birthday and I feel like I am really boring because my answer is always the same; I want to have dinner with my family. I used to do a big dinner thing with my friends, or drinks with everyone but I realized that I prefer smaller gatherings and since my birthday falls into the holiday season chaos often I am really unattached to celebrating.

Dinner was wonderful. Just spending time with my family makes me smile, eating awesome food is a bonus! Today I spent much of the day on a plane or in an airport. I awoke nice and early to catch my first flight out on my way to Palm Springs for an event this week. People looked at my ID's all day but no one noticed that it was my birthday- I can't blame them, I normally have no idea what day of the week it is let alone what date. When I checked into my hotel I actually told the receptionist it was my birthday, something I never do. Well imagine my surprise when I return from my stint at the pool to find champagne, fruit and chocolate sauce waiting for me with a card from her!

I received something like 140 Happy Birthday messages from friends on Facebook or via text. some of the highlights though;

• an amazing voice mail message from The Ofners, party of 5
• a text from an incredible friend; "I know I missed it by 12 minutes, but happy technical 5:58pm birthday!"
• "I hope you have a day that is filled with as much joy and happiness as you give those who have been blessed enough to have you in their lives"; from one very special lady
• "Happy Birthday Beautiful!!! Because I love you, I'm giving you an all expense paid trip to...... PALM DESSERT!!! Starting NOW! Go!
  Have fun this week. Wish I was there to give you a birthday hug! xo"; from my amazing and clearly comedic boss! 

I really do not know how to use my words to say thank you. Thank you to each and everyone of you that is part of my life, whether you are a big piece of it, or a small part you are in my life and have made an impact on me. I am so incredibly grateful for all of you and for what I have. 

My words today are: THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU. 

PS. After I posted this blog I went for dinner. This is what my "bill" said:

Gratitude, Relaxation and Connection...

I am currently sitting on a couch, looking out on a beautiful ski hill on this lovely cold December morning. (It's actually nice and toasty in the condo though)

My mom, Jaime- my youngest brother's girlfriend- and my best friend Geny left cold and grey Montreal yesterday morning for cold and 'whiter' Vermont. Yesterday we spent the day shopping. When we went through customs and the agent asked what we were going down for my mother responded, "A weekend of relaxation." He looked at us for a second before adding, "And shopping?" Clearly when you see a car of four women heading into the states on what's now become known as 'Black Friday Weekend' it's not hard to deduce that they will be shopping! He commented on how shopping now would not be considered relaxing, then said have fun and handed us back our passports and off we went.

I must say that when I am at home shopping is in NO way relaxing. However when I am on vacation I could spend a third of it shopping and I would be okay- half of it would just be too much. By the end of the day we were all ready to head to our home for the weekend which is tucked into the the bottom of the ski hill at Smuggler's Notch in Vermont. This area is very pretty all the time but with the light dust of snow that fell last night it's magical. I am beginning to feel a lot like Christmas :)

This is the time of year that I want to spend most with people I love and care about. Thank goodness for the internet which allows me to stay connected to others even if they live all around the world. While I was talking to a friend the other day he asked me if my family was all in one area or spread out, spread out is even an understatement! My family is all over the world; Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa (these are close'ish), New York, Rhode Island, San Francisco, Egypt and Dubai. And that's just my family- the people I love who are related my blood- my friends cover a MUCH larger span.

Technology, there are pros and cons to it but for me I am very grateful that it allows connections to stay powerful as long as you make an effort. I discovered, during my trip to NY this month, that I really do love to stay connected with people. I made a major effort to see as many people as I could while I was in NY, even if I haven't seen them for 6 or 7 years, because they mean something to me.

I may consider myself more introverted than extroverted but really I am pretty balanced. My work life requires a lot of my extroverted nature to come out so when I am not at work I tend to become a hermit. I hide away for a few days where I just re-connect with myself. I've discovered that this process is necessary for me if I want to be able to connect with anyone ever again! :)

Luckily for me I travel a lot to the cities in which my family and friends reside, with the exception of the ones not in North America. That means that coupled with the fact that I genuinely enjoy staying connected and seeing people I love and care about, I get to see my family more frequently than anyone else. At this time of year I am extra grateful for the job and the lifestyle that I have and the freedom that it allows me to stay connected with people I love.

Guess the lesson is this post is gratitude, relaxation and connection. Sometimes I don't have any thought provoking things to say... Happy Holiday season everyone! May it be filled with joy, love and laughter with people you love and care about!!!

(I only added the title after I wrote the post)

365 Days of Gratitude

I have two blogs. Did you know that? This blog is my processing blog; it's where I write out my thoughts and whatever is going on in my life. For the most part by the end of a post I have a point and some kind of learn... I figure if you are still reading it then you must be getting something out of it... Right?! :)

I have another blog; one that I don't really share but that I would like to with all of you. My second blog began 370 days ago...

Veronica's 365 days of Gratitude 

My first post was on November 16th, 2012:

Welcome to my 365 days of Gratitude blog!
Yesterday it occurred to me that I am grateful for so many things in my life. I could easily write this in a journal for my eyes only, however something compelled me to do in online in blog format. I believe this to be two fold;1. I get to share what I am grateful for and perhaps empower others to think about what they are grateful for.2. It's a way to keep myself accountable to posting everyday. I realize that no one is going to be patrolling my blog to make sure that I post everyday but I'll know if I did or not, and I will be accountable for that.
So day 1; I am grateful to have to outlet for my gratitude!

I decided to keep this blog relatively private; which really means that I didn't share it on Facebook like I do with this one. I think partly because I wasn't convinced that I would actually succeed in writing a post for 365 consecutive days. In all honesty I didn't. There were a few times where I would miss a few days; then I would sit down and write a post that had something for everyday that I missed.

In the end I did succeed. I wrote about something I was grateful for for the last 370 days!!!

Were there some days that it was a little harder to come up with something? Yes. Will those days always exist? Most likely. Is there still always something to be grateful for? Absolutely!

I plan on continuing my gratitude blog because I realized that another 365 days are waiting for me to be grateful for them! I still won't share my posts on Facebook but if you'd like to follow along feel free :)

Alone in NYC

Technically speaking I was travelling alone in NYC for the last few days. However, in a city with over 8 million people (all five boroughs) it's actually a little hard to feel alone. Scratch that, it's next to impossible to feel alone, especially when there are seven people touching you on the subway as you are shuttled from one part of the city to another.

I have spent the last few days here in Manhattan and I really do enjoy it, for the most part anyway. I stand by my sentiment of not wanting to live here however I could easily spend a month at a time in the city every few months getting a major dose of arts, culture and food!

This week was a test for me. I tend to travel with people. I have never really been very good at spending time alone, especially when travelling.

Monday I spent the day catching up on emails and sleep. Got into the city that night and went to my first yoga class in over three months with a friend; Pure West- nicest yoga studio I've ever seen! The next day I went to a class on my own, wonderful. Then cabbed across the park to the upper east side where I would be staying with my cousins for the remainder of my trip.

I was determined to go and see at least two broadway shows while I was in town. So Tuesday night I headed into Times Square around 6, walked right up to the TKTS booth and bought myself one ticket to Rock of Ages- awesome show full of sex, drugs and rock & roll! It's perfect to bring a guy who is not into musicals too. This was the first time I ever went to see a show on my own, I've never even gone to a movie alone before.

Wednesday I got even more bold! I went to the Guggenheim museum alone! I have always wanted to go to the Guggenheim because the design of the building has always intrigued me. I am so grateful that my cousin gave me his museum pass for the day and I got to go for free. It was mesmerizing. Afterwards I headed to Times Square again walked right up to the TKTS booth and bought myself one ticket to Phantom of the Opera; a broadway classic.

After my second show I walked to Grand Central Station, easily one of my favourite places in the city. It's such a beautiful building and I could stand on the balcony and watch the people walk around for hours! Met my friend Christy from the ship and then headed to the village for dinner and drinks.

Thursday morning I had breakfast with my cousin before heading to the airport for my next trip.

Lessons learned while in NYC:

1. I am a big girl who is perfectly capable of keeping myself company.
2. I love connecting with friends and family and genuinely make an effort to do so when I travel.
3. I will never wait in line for tickets at TKTS again! Even if I am not sitting only five rows back the show is still sensational and even if I'm with a bunch of people we can get individual seats all over and then talk about the show afterwards!
4. Work out a little before getting to NYC because I walk a lot while in the city and have shin splints right now...
5. People watching is one of my favourite things to do wherever I am but in NYC it's incredible.
6. Remember to smile, it won't mess up your hair! (This was taught to me by a singing group on the subway. I thought it was pretty clever!)