Sunday, October 13, 2013

Online Dating

I will begin this post by giving myself credit for at least being open to the process of online dating. Celebrate! 
The catch is that so far- I hate it. 

In my quest to find someone to commit to I decided to take the plunge into the online dating scene. Here are the facts about my life; I travel for work- all over North America, I meet new people constantly- some of whom I am attracted to, but wait, right they live in another city- when I am at home I have a LOT of free time that I spend with friends and family and could easily fit in another relationship, whenever I am home and go out it's with friends and family I want to catch up with, I've never gone out with the intention of picking up... 

Now I ask you the question; how am I meant to meet someone?! Hence the power and magic of the internet. These online dating website have us input a bunch of information about ourselves and then using some algorithm that a mathematical genius figured out we get paired up with people that are apparently compatible with us. 

I can only speak for myself here but it seems that every time I am attracted to someone online- which is hard for me because I am a very physical person, in the sense that I need to meet the person to get a feel for them and through pictures and text alone is often not enough- they do not respond and vise versa. The guys who write to me first either start with "hey", which personally I find very uncreative and not ideal for an online dialogue- might work really well in person though- or they make a bad sexual joke, or I am just simply not attracted to them. 

There have been a few, a handful, that I have managed to carry on a conversation with online but so far none have translated into setting up a date. Why? (In case you haven't realized, my blog and purpose for being is to ask this question about pretty much everything! I'm basically a two year old for life!)

I have my theories of course about why but I don't really know or understand it. I think part of the hesitancy of setting up an actual date revolves around the words: what if? (Incidentally people wait their whole lives to do things because there are so many possible answers to the question what if.)

Online dating what ifs that I have come up with... WHAT IF:
- there's someone better for me online I just haven't found yet
- this person is crazy
- we have a terrible date
- he or she is way more into me than I'm into them
- they're an asshole
- they're just trying to get laid

You know as I am writing these down I realize that these are the same ridiculous questions we would ask ourselves even if we were conventionally dating, the only difference would be that I have already met them in person. 

For me I still think having encountered someone in person prior to accepting an official date is best. I rely on my intuition and feel for people too much to ever be fully comfortable with the online thing. That being said, when do I ever take the comfortable road? I pride myself on pushing my comfort zone and boundaries. 

I am going to stick with it for now and see what happens. At this point it's kind of an experiment. 

What am I meant to learn from all this?!