Saturday, March 20, 2010


In the honour of full disclosure here, I am very unsure as to whether or not I want to be a parent. I remember the first time I spoke that phrase out loud to some girlfriends of mine they looked at me like I was crazy, and that must have been about four years ago now. I still feel like I am very much on the fence about it. For me if I am on the fence it means I am leaning more towards the not having kids because let's face it, it would be be beyond ridiculous of me to be on the fence about being parent and still embark on the journey! I believe that there is a huge difference between my fence position right now and the position or thought of "I know I want kids I am just scared that I won't do a good job" To me that thought makes perfect sense because really we never know what's going to come up or what's going to happen and as a parent especially you just have to go with the flow and take things as they come.

I suppose you are wondering what has brought about this topic of blog... Well many things in my life seem to have been around the talk of kids recently, which of course has got me thinking. My cousin is pregnant and is due to give birth on May 10th- coming up soon! So we are preparing to throw her a baby shower. I have never been to a baby shower before and am excited to become an aunt. I realize that technically speaking I am not an aunt since this baby girl is not my niece but I am still going to be referred to as aunt Veronica! There is baby talk number one. This topic of conversation with other friends also inevitably brings up their experiences with baby showers and kids in general.

Then, on top of just the talk, friends of ours came over this weekend with their kids. They have three; a 6 almost 7 year old girl and two twin 4 year old boys. These kids are very cute- I will certainly give them that. When they use their words and ask nicely for things I am more than happy to respond. However when they use whiny voices and don't ask for what they want I stop listening. They can whine all they want I am not going to respond. I figure at some point they will realize that whining does not get them anywhere. Now I am well aware that as an outsider it is easy to look in and have opinions, while in the heat of the fire of parenthood it becomes a much greyer area of unknowns. When do you give in? When do you not? How do you know what battles to pick? This has me thinking that I do not want to have to go through all of this. I also am keenly aware that if I ever become a mother I will be a very strong one who will simply not put up with kids running all over me. I will be similar to my mom in many ways. My experience dealing with kids has already shown me that.

Perhaps I will be a mom... Or perhaps I will be the coolest most awesomest aunt ever! I keep thinking that I am simply going to have to play it by ear and see what life has in store for me. Aunts are just as important! Read Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love. She knows she does not want kids. Well now she does anyway, and she talks about the important role that the none mothers, aka the aunts throughout societies have played and will continue to play.

All in all kids are a very large part of my life already without having any of my own... Perhaps I will feel very different when that perfect guy for me appears. Who really knows? All I know for certain is that if I had to pick the perfect guy for me or kids it would be the guy. The guy comes first in the equation! Remember the song... "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage" Some people skip the last part while others skip the first and jump straight to the last one. Who knows!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Meant to be

It is very interesting how things turn out. The universe is always on purpose. I am unsure exactly what lesson I am meant to take from this particular experience but I am sure it will be crystal clear to me in the near future.

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about disappointment. I wrote about how my brother got the job that we both wanted while I was told we love you but not right now- in much nicer terms. Yesterday, Monday March 8th, I am flying home from Cuba when this thought- a very powerful and imposing thought at that- enters my mind, 'Check your email when you get home. Angela wrote to you and it's important.' I begin thinking about what it could be. After I calmed down from the immense amount of pain that I had gone through I had emailed her asking what my next steps where and for more feedback so that I could continue to improve my skills.

The plane lands safely in Montreal, I am not all that thrilled because honestly I could've spent another 3 days in Cuba (10 days is, I believe what an All Inclusive vacation should be), and I turn on my phone to message my parents and see what I may have missed in my world back home. Turns out that I have 3 missed calls; Fido my cell phone company, Phil- a friend from Toronto saying hi and welcome home, and Angela. Now the first two don't surprise me so much and although the third one doesn't surprise me after the thought I had on the plane but it does sort of surprise me at the same time. Does that make sense?

Angela sounds like she really wants to talk to me and soon. She says not only is she calling now but she had also emailed me and to let her know when we can talk as soon as possible. I email her when I get home that today would be good around 6pm. Turns out I was available earlier so I sent her a messaging saying that and within ten minutes she was on the phone with me. She was touching base with how I was doing with the whole situation and just seeing where I was at. I said I was much better and that I would be krewing Wealth and Wisdom in April to gain some more experience. Now she says, "Well Veronica the universe seems to work in mystrious ways. The second person we wanted to hire has declined the offer. The job is yours if you want it."

To be totally honest I'm not sure what I said next. I believe it was something along the lines of, "Are you SERIOUS?" A of this March 9th, 2010 I have officially signed and sent in my contract with Peak Potential Trainings as a Canadian Core Team member! Chris and I get to go through the process together!

I think my lesson here is, believe. Huh funny how that was our theme for these phenomenal Olympics that just past out in Vancouver... Believe. And that I am a powerful manifester!!!