Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Oh the Drama cont'd

A very good female friend of mine who has heard all the ridiculousness chaos I was causing found this article and sent it to me today. I love the way the universe just throws things back in our faces!

Can You Just Be Friends with the Opposite Sex?

It has both a male and female perspective on the question and I am thrilled to have heard it because it makes sense to me! Of course I suppose it also justifies exactly what I wrote in my last post. My male friend and I confronted the sexual energy, diffused it and are moving on!

Thanks Chantal I owe you one!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Oh the Drama

I have just recently realized that females, such as myself, sometimes thrive on drama. I never thought of myself as one of those people and yet over the past few weeks I seem to have created extra drama around a relationship of mine, which then caused a strain in said relationship and unneeded stress on myself!

All this extra drama though also led to a cleansing of the relationship... Cleansing meaning that it caused us to sit and really talk about where we stand and what we are both looking for and wanting from each other. Turns out that my drama was around this expectation that there was an expectation of something sexual occurring which I was in no way comfortable with. Reality- I am slightly nuts! There was and is no sexual expectation on his part at all. I was so revealed to sit down and really go through the conversation that cleared it all up!

We are really good friends and although there is an attraction there we are good as friends! I love that. We are able to talk about whatever is going on in our lives and to have a guy friend like that is wonderful. I am very lucky that I have so many male friends in my life- they care about me, listen to me and are a little protective of me, which is super sweet and awesome! My females friends, not to leave them out, are just as- if not more important. They are supportive of me and my chaos although they also have the ability to ground me! I love each of them!

After all this I remember something that I learned at the beginning of November at AuthenTalk with Greg Moores; we go through a cycle of learning.
1- Listening
2- Awakening
3- Knowing
4- CHAOS
When we get stuck in a state of 'knowing', where we just know how things are meant to work the universe will turn your world into CHAOS so as to get you to listen again. Have you ever known something so surely and then one day it turned out it wasn't true at all? Isn't it interesting how that happens?

This is what my relationship was like. I created this chaos so as to be able to listen and learn again. I am really glad I created it. It turned out to be best! Funny how the universe works. :)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Soundtrack of Life

There are certain films that I've seen in my years that I just love because I find that the music is just SO perfect for the film- on top of the fact that they are just great films! Have you ever watched a movie and thought that the soundtrack was just perfect? Have you ever been moved by the music in a film? Have you ever realized how much the music in a movie affects our perception of the story that is unfolding?

Music in film is as vital as as the moving images themselves. The music tells us how to feel about certain parts of the film. It tells us when to be happy, when to be scared and when to be sad. It helps develop characters, plots and emotions.

While watching The Holiday this past weekend I began to wonder how the soundtrack of my life would sound... In the film, Jack Black's character is a composer, specifically for movies, and he composes a track that 'sounds' like Kate Winslet's character. It's a beautiful track. It made me wonder though if someone were to compose a track that 'sounds' like Veronica Buna what would it sound like? What would my track sound like?

I like to think that the track of my life would be rather happy and light hearted in nature. Something fun and upbeat yet moving and inspirational at the same time. Can a song really be all of those things? Why not?

The sound track of this film is so perfect for it that I cannot imagine what the film would be like if there was no music. It's just so perfect. If you have not yet seen this movie it's a must, especially at the holiday season! I mean after all it is called The Holiday.

I love this movie because not only does it make me laugh and cry- it makes me believe that there is still someone out there for me. Four unsuspecting people end up in wonderful relationships and it makes my heart happy! Watch it and let me know what you think! I hope you love it as much as I do!!!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Romantic Comedies

I feel like every time I watch a romantic comedy, which is my favourite genre of movies, I realize just how much I want to be in a relationship. I also realize what I wrote in my last post and am well aware of how oddly contradictory I sound at the moment.

The fact of the matter is I miss being in a relationship. I mean I miss all these things about being with someone else. I miss talking to them whenever I need someone to talk to. I miss cuddling and holding hands as we walk down the street- fingers interlocked- or now not so much since I wear mittens. Going to movies and out for dinner and for walks in the park. I miss laughing at stupid jokes just because he's the one making them. I miss kissing. I miss... so many things.

I would like to be in a relationship again. This my message to the universe; I am ready and willing to accept the guy that I am meant to be with right now. If that's no one then so be it. If there is someone that I am meant to have an experience with then so be it. I am open to receiving. I want to share all those things that I miss so much with someone. I want them to be there for me. I want to have a guy who can stand his ground and be who he is despite my chaos. From my writing I think it's pretty easy to tell that I can be a bit of a storm sometimes.

I understand that I could likely be more clear with you universe, this is just what I know now. And I thank you in advance for being so understanding and supportive even if I don't know what I want. It's great that you are just there waiting for when I do. Thank you.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Fling by definition

I managed to get myself into a relationship with a friend of mine who I really like spending time with and really get along with. That being said this was set as a very easy and relaxed situation in which I was not getting attached. He just got out of a four year relationship and I was not looking for anything super committed right now- it was to be a fling.

A fling by definition according to the free dictionary online: "A brief period of indulging one's impulses. A brief sexual or romantic relationship." This definition pretty accurately describes what we were going through even though we really care about each other. And clearly since I am writing in the past tense here it was short lived!

Anyway it turns out that after taking some time to think about what he really wants it's his ex. I wish I could say that this news did not affect me because I was not attached. Alas this was not the case. I am not sure exactly what I was more disappointed in; the fact that our fling was now over or that he decided he wanted her more than me or that he decided to go back to a relationship that isn't so good for him. I'm not sure that I'll ever really know which one was the most annoying part.

In discussing it with my dad though I realized that I am pretty darn disappointed about our fling being over because it means that there really isn't any potential of it becoming more than that Make sense? And yet I keep saying that I am not quite ready for a big serious and committed relationship. Here it dawned on me. No wonder he didn't stick around! No wonder no guy of any real potential has entered my life! I'm repelling them! By continuing to say that I'm not ready for a big relationship the universe is not sending me anything!

The even more confusing part for the universe must be that I also continue to say that I am open and willing to receive the right guy in my life. Then a great guy enters and I make it clear to him that I am not ready for a 'real' relationship! I mean really how is the universe supposed to respond now?! Even though I have now realized and I understand what's going on I'm not entirely sure how to go about changing it, because I do want to find the right guy but I also want to just have some fun and relaxed relationships before then... How do I make that clear? Not too sure....

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Krewing Birthdays

I am very fortunate in my life to have the ability to up and leave home and travel to attend and to volunteer at these courses that I love so dearly. I am truly blessed to be able to work with such amazing people and support others in their growth and development.

The Millionaire Mind Intensive in Toronto was the weekend of November 27-29th and I had such a wonderful time. The krew was just phenomenal! I was responsible for the handouts and I owe so much of how smoothly they went to the incredible people I had around me- asking how they could help all the time, forcing me to delegate. HUGE learn for me. When I delegate my job becomes much easier, especially when I have such a strong team to get the job done! I was only in the room for about half the handouts we had and the team did not miss a beat!

Then Never Work Again began in Palm Springs and that was interesting. More than half the krew was brand new to krewing, which made it slightly more challenging. I learned that when asking someone to get something done it's nice to ask nicely and not bark out orders. I understand that I am coming from heart because I just want everything to work as smoothly and in the best way for everyone... others may not see it that way when I curtly say, "Here's the bell" or "Go get people back in their seats" Lesson learned- treat others how you would like to be treated, breathe and stay calm- people at the bookstore will each get their turn, there's only so much you can do as one human being!

Best part about NWA... celebrating my birthday with such crazy and lovable people!!! Being surrounded by such beautiful energy all day was just incredible! I was even more privileged than that though because my amazing friend Kevin, whom I am kissing here, celebrated his birthday the day before mine!!! We had such an awesome time all week!!! So wonderful. I have no more words to describe it.

This is what I am meant to be doing. Supporting people on their journey of self discovery! I LOVE it!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Marriage

So recently I have mentioned that I felt like my parents marriage was some sort of anomaly. Yet last night I went out for dinner and the hockey game with my girlfriends- Montreal won! We went through the customary updates on each of our lives and relationships since we only get together every two weeks or so. Three of the five of us are in committed relationships while the other two are not and have been for a little while now. I fall into that second category. I happen to have many guy friends but no boyfriend right now- I'm ok with that. Anyway point being that in our discussion we came to realize that all of our parents are still together. Then I began to think of all my closest friends and of my closest 13 friends only 4 of them have parents who are divorced. It was really interesting to look at it from a different point of view. Conclusion: my parents are not the anomaly I thought they were.



I mean I am still amazed by them everyday though- they are more in love today than they were when they got married. They have grown together over the past 25 years not apart. When my dad calls I know as soon as my mom picks up the phone that it's him. Her voice changes and she softens at the sound of his voice on the other line. True they have their moments and overall they are still as cute as ever. My dad gets upset because he thinks I make fun of them... Well I do! I love them though and he knows it's purely out of love!

I love this new discovery! It gives me more hope than before. When you commit your life to someone else check that you are looking towards the same things and are willing to support each other on this journey that is life!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Credit

I have come to realize that I still don't give my friends at home enough credit. I seem to constantly assume that they don't understand or cannot understand what I am going through or have been through. Therefore I tend to not always talk to them about everything. THEN they go and surprise me by being totally supportive and loving when I do share.

This then makes me wonder what am I so scared of? Why do I continue to hold back who I am with them when clearly they can handle it? Lesson learned; they are my friends for a reason!

While I was in high school I was well liked by others but I didn't have any really close friends, not for the first three years anyway (in Quebec grade 7-9). In grade 10 I seemed to find the people that I really wanted to spend time with. Grade 10 and 11 I created strong bonds with these people, even though I still hung out with many. I still talk to them now- not as often because we all live in different cities around Canada but they are the only ones I have actually made the effort to stay in touch with.

High school was a great learning experience for me as far as friend selection goes. I learned that although I can be friends with everyone I do not have to be super close to anyone unless I choose to. I came to the realization that unless I felt good about being in a relationship with the person I wouldn't do it. I value close friends and I would rather have few close friends than many acquaintances.

The people in my life now are the people that I truely want in my life. These people make me happy. They support me and care about me. These relationships are of mutual understanding and caring. I have chosen them carefully so why wouldn't I trust them? What a great realization!

I trust myself and my relationships!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Too Much Energy

I have always wondered if I have too much energy for others to handle. There are some situations that occur in my life where it leads me to believe that my playing BIG causes people to back off. Other situations have taught me that when I play BIG others play BIG too and we connect on a deeper level.

Here's one situation as an example- I work with a team and leadership building company and many of my programs are with elementary school kids. I was told today that I scared one of the children. There are many, I realize, reasons as to why I would scare a child. First and foremost I tend to be very loud. My normal voice alone carries extremely well let alone when I get excited and I cheer or I get upset and attempt to control a group of 19 children and a very small classroom playing very high energy games. Secondly I just get very involved and energetic and that can be a little too much sometimes for some people- not just kids.

While attending a course recently called AuthenTalk with Greg Mooers in Denver Colorado (a beautiful city by the way) I learned that society is constructed in such a way to keep your life at a level 7- this is what's deemed acceptable by society. On a scale of 1 to 10 what level would you say your life is at? To be 100% honest when I was asked this question at the beginning of this three day course I raised my hand when he asked, "Between a 6 and 8?" Hence number 7.

Some people feel that their lives are at a level 2-5, these people are typically suffering from suicidal thoughts and are living in their victims. The people who live level 9 or 10 lives are generally thought of as arrogant and self centered because they think that they are so much better off than the rest of us. In reality these are the people who are just living their lives and loving every minute of it! The rest of us, the majority of us actually, respond with a general level 7 because that is what is acceptable in society. At a level 7 you are happy but you are not completely fulfilled and you always have more room to grow AND more importantly you are not any happier than anyone else. You are average.

Let me ask you something... Do you want to be average? Do you want your life to be average? Do you want the people you love to have average lives? My guess is that the answer to these question is no. I may be wrong of course and in that case by all means continue doing what you do. However if I'm right then I suggest you take a look at your life and you decided to live it at a level 10! Be the hero in your own story! This means taking ownership of who you are, the decisions you make and where you are going!

BE. Forget about doing something just allow yourself the space to BE. We are not human doings we are human beings. Have fun just being who you are and choose to be a level 10! Bring those around you up to that level instead of having them pull you back down to the acceptable level 7!

I am committed to Respect and Confidence! (my heart virtue shifted just slightly over the weekend at AuthenTalk- it's truer now than it was before)

I LOVE MY LIFE!!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Shift in Energy

I do not watch very much TV so I pick my shows pretty carefully. I watch Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice on Thursday nights and depending on my mood I'll sit down and watch Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters on Sunday evening.



On last week's episode of Grey's Anatomy "New History" the chief's wife came into the hospital and accused Miranda Bailey (my favorite character) of cheating with the chief. His wife says that something is different with the chief and if he isn't cheating sexually than something else is going on because he has changed. Turns out, in the last scene, that he is drinking again- for an alcoholic, not good!

This makes me wonder- can you tell when your significant other is cheating? The chief's wife knew that something had changed- she sensed the shift in his energy. I personally am a terrible liar and people who know me well can see right through me when I say something is 'fine' and it's really not. This then seriously makes me think; are cheaters just really good liars or are their significant others just ignoring the energy shift?

Then again if you do notice the shift and you ask what's wrong or what's changed and they say, "Nothing" what do you do then if you know in your heart that something isn't right? How much space do you give them before you really push it? It just makes me wonder...

Monday, November 16, 2009

Can I Trust?

I seem to have this uncanny ability to be in a relationship with someone and not be emotionally invested in it. How? I don't even understand where and when this stupid ability was developed. It actually makes me angry.

I have only been in one real romantic relationship before, not that others haven't appeared as an option since but I haven't wanted to get totally involved in them. I have held back from becoming overly invested in any of them. The ones that I have wanted to invest in were doomed from the start because the other party involved did not want to fully invest. What the hell am I attracting? Clearly I am not ready to be romantically committed to anyone yet!

This new realization is really frustrating me at the moment; just in case you are unable to sense my energy through my writing!

One of my best guy friends and I are able to talk about everything and anything and I love it. I love that I am able to connect so deeply with him even if we are not romantic and not going to become romantic due to circumstances. Recently though I held back in the relationship. I didn't share something that was going on in my life that was of significance because I didn't want to hurt him. This however has caused a strain in our connection and by not telling him about it I have hurt both of us. Why did I do this? I pulled away from being too emotionally invested because I was scared of getting hurt and now I am more hurt because I am so sad that I have hurt him.

I understand that this may all sound like rambling to you and that's ok I just had to share it and get it out. To this amazing guy in my life I am so sorry for not trusting you with my heart like I said I would. I know that you would've understood everything that I had to say and that you would've been exactly who I needed to talk to. You listen to me without judgment and with full support and I am truly sorry that I did not trust in myself enough to trust in you.

I love you. I trust you. Thank you for being in my life and for calling me on my bullshit!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Universe Replies

Wow. I am so amazed and thankful for incredible friends.

The Buna household is always open and available for friends and family to stay. We love having people over. We have the mentality of 'the more, the merrier'. However, I realize that there are other families that don't have this same mentality. I understand that to open up your home to other people can be very stressful and difficult for some. Because I understand this I am even more amazed and thankful for my incredible friends.

I had a small accommodations dilemma recently... plans I had made with friends were falling through for unforeseeable reasons. I understood that there had to be a reason for this and was therefore prepared to figure something else out. So I reached out to several friends and asked if any of them would be able to help a girl (and her brother) out. Low and behold I got three solid offers and several others who pointed me in the right direction.

I understand that the universe is there to serve me, I am just SO thrilled that it served me a gourmet meal and not fast food. HAHAHA I crack myself up. Seriously though I am very VERY thankful to the universe and to my friends for opening their hearts and homes to me.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Costume Fun


I have never been a big Halloween person- when I was younger I dressed up and went trick-or-treating typically as a princess sometimes as a scarecrow or even a strawberry. Then I grew up and out of the trick-or-treating phase. At this point it seemed like I always had some family thing to do on Halloween so I never noticed that I was that into it- I didn't have a choice.

This year I had a party to go to. My brother and two of our friends got dressed up and headed out to our friend's farm. We had a wonderful time; eat, drank, talked and danced- good times. The best part about the night though; getting to be someone else.

I got to play a part. I got to be my rock band character V-Ron for the evening. I have never worn a wig before and I have to say this purple one was pretty bad ass!!! I got to create my own costume- I mean I created my own character on rock band and if you saw her you would see that this costume came pretty close to what she's actually currently wearing.

I love myself and my life- that doesn't mean that it's not fun to dress up and be someone else for a little bit. As V-Ron I wasn't terribly different than Veronica other than I was slightly more in your face cool instead of secretly cool. Point being that I had a lot of fun being V-Ron and can't wait for my next costume party!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Listen

Have you ever felt that the trees, the wind, the leaves, the water- the earth talks to you? I have found that when I want to get quiet it serves me best to get out in nature. I have yet to have success in quieting my mind in a room meditating. I am the quietest when I am out in nature. I could just be sitting there or I could be walking- as long as there are trees around me I am more centered.


I took my dogs for a walk in the park again this weekend and I heard the trees and the wind talk to me. When I posed a question to them about anything today they were quick to give me an answer. They told me that although we both have our imperfections we are perfect and that we will continue to grow. They told me to stay true to who I am and that they are always here.

They also encouraged me to release procrastination and to move towards action, so I did. This process was so interesting to me. You see as a human I inhale oxygen and I exhale, or release, CO2 and as a tree they inhale CO2 and exhale oxygen so that I may breathe. When I go into the trees they are saying, "Give us whatever is not serving you and take what you need. We are here in service just as you and we wish to assist you in all that you do."

The trees can be so wise as long as I am present and open to listening!

Monday, October 26, 2009

One Week

What a fantastic film. I am amazed at how wonderfully witty and clever this film is.

Two beautiful goddesses that I met in November of 2008 just got back from an eight month journey on the road. They traveled all over both Canada and the United States, visiting friends, family and just being. Since I returned home from my whirlwind summer I have been thinking of doing the same thing. I enjoy driving. I love photography- and I mean just imagine all the shots. I love to travel. I love to visit people.

Where would I go? Where would you go? What would you do if you only had only week to live? Would you drop everything and take a trip? Would you write a book? Would you make love under a starry sky in an open field?

Why is it that we don't do these things? Why is it that we wait? Why is it that I wait? This is about me as much as it is about anyone else. I am the only one responsible for my own life and when I refer to things in the third person then I am not owning up to them. When I don't own up to it I don't feel the need to actually do anything about it because it doesn't seem real.

So now I ask myself this question: Veronica if you only had a day, a week or a month to live what would you do?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Projection

In all of my personal development work I've been doing I have come to understand that I project everything I see onto the world. Everything I see in others is simply a reflection of what I see in myself. More specifically they are the qualities I have within myself- I may not see them or even know that they exist. However, they must exist in order for me to see them because if they did not exist I would not understand what they were. Does this make sense?

Getting to the point... In having a discussion with my girlfriends from University they were saying- I'm writing my understanding of what was said- "Why do you have to take so many of these courses? You have always been to confident and sure of who you were, more so than any of our other friends anyway. You are strong enough to not need these courses and furthermore are they really helping you that much?"

I had many thoughtful responses to what was said. The first of which was, 'I'm doing these courses because I wish to continue to learn and grow as a person' my second was, 'I may have been that person in your eyes, however I was unable to see that person in myself until I began my transformational process' and my third thought was, 'Hell yes they are helping me!'

Here's what I learned from that evening; they were projecting this strong, independent and powerful girl unto me. I appreciate it because it makes me look good, however because they had already cast me into that mold I didn't fit into any others where they may have a crack of imperfection (not that they ever said anything about me being perfect). They had created my mold and they did not deviate from it; while I danced around it and refused to fit in it- they just did not see me.

After all of these courses I can now see the part of the girl that they saw. Although now I not only see her, I understand her. I understand that I am all things and that I am nothing. I am one with the universe.

I am me.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Colors

Sunday October 18th, 2009 was a most spectacular fall day in Montreal. One of those perfect days where it's not too cold and not too hot, there's a gentle breeze and the sun is shinning. One of those days where the light allows every color on every leaf of every tree to shine brilliantly bright. Taking advantage of the perfect day my parents and I took the dogs and went for a stroll in a forest/park not far from our house.
We strolled along the path through the woods and admired the amazing reds, oranges, yellows and greens. One of my favorite things to do is to just walk through wooded area and be present with mother earth. I realize that she is everything and everywhere but I feel so different when I am in the woods. I find this sense of calm comes over me while I am hidden in the trees. I feel like they are there to protect and shelter me. They are there to care for me and tell me that everything is fine and to keep growing. There are young trees and old trees. There are trees that still have lots of their leaves and others that are almost bare. Each tree is different. Each tree is unique. Each tree plays its part. Together, however, they are spectacular.

Fall in Montreal is my favorite time of year. The temperature is just right. The colors are just perfect. Thank you mother nature for making fall so beautiful.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Wizard Family

Another peaks family gathering at the Buna's occurred this weekend! We had many a Wizards over for fun and food. What an interesting bunch of people we are. We laughed, played, talked, sang, ate and then ate some more. Every time we have a gathering of people like this I learn something.

This weekend my lesson was that family always comes first.

I began these personal development courses with Landmark Education back in 2003; I was 17 at the time. My brothers and I attended the Teen forum and then decided to take the Advanced Course together. While attending the Advanced course they offered us the 10 week season course so we committed to taking that one as well, since it was our next step. We were ready to go when we got a phone call from Landmark saying that my youngest brother, Sebastian would not be able to take the course with us because he was not old enough yet.

My parents did everything in their power to get them to allow him in. They wrote letters to everyone and were even taking the course with us. Landmark would not budge. Well we were not about to leave a vital part of our family out of the process so none of us continued our education with Landmark.

I had always thought of this experience negatively- until this weekend. David pointed out to me that although this may have been frustrating it proved to us, our family, that we were the most important thing to each other. We were in it all together; "One for all and all for one!" (the three musketeers) Landmark showed me what it was to stand up for what I believed in and I believe in my family and our integrity!

Friday, October 16, 2009

8 seconds or less

What would you do if I sang out of tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
I will try not to sing out of key, yeah

Oh, baby I get by with a little help from my friends...

"The Wonder Years" theme song

I would watch the show every now and then; it certainly was not my favourite so I'm not sure why the lyrics came into my head today. Since they did though I figured I would look at them.

The question I posed myself is: no matter what happens in my life and how bad things get in my realtionships would I ever really just walk out on them? I think that truthfully no matter what happens I will always be there for my friends because there are times when I will need them too. That being said there are people in my life that I may encounter who are not necessarily my friends but that deserve to be treated with love as well.

In a process that I did this summer a challenge was put forth by the facilitators; 'could you get back to love, no matter what happens in 8 seconds or less?'

This means living from my higher self; the self the knows and understands that all human beings are equal, amazing and full of love and light. This means that even when someone cuts me off in traffic I can send them love in under 8 seconds. This means that even when someone is yelling at me I can send them love in under 8 seconds. In situations where you are prone to anger as a reaction can you come back to love in 8 seconds or less?

I'm not going to lie- it can be challenging. The thing is that it is also VERY rewarding. When I am able to just stop and breathe, realize that this person is still a person and that they may be having their own issues, it allows me to detach from the emotional effect the situation may have on me. I am then able to allow, hold space and get back to love.

Love is universal and without love the universe dies. So I propose the challenge to all of you as well: no matter what happens in your life can you get back to love in 8 seconds or less?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Thanksgiving

Canadian Thanksgiving was this past weekend and I had the most amazing time. The Buna house was a gathering spot for friends and food. We had many of our peaks family members come and visit.

Irma was the first to arrive on Saturday. We spent Sunday going around Montreal and being tourists. Monday morning Joel and his parents drove in from Ottawa and Lea flew in for the day from Baltimore. Anne came from Quebec City, Sylvie and Mike came from Alexandria and Dale and Claude came from around the corner.We laughed and ate and rocked out and played ultimate frisbee. It was just amazing to have so much fun and vibrant energy around.

We were, however, missing some key people from my peaks family and I'd like to acknowledge them for being with us in spirit. The five goddesses front left to right: Lea, Katie, Kelly- back left to right: Irma and myself...

Katie and Kelly; our fellow goddesses, we thought of you often this weekend. The Book made an appearance. Irma has now been passed the book and it will finally start being mailed around to us all; the envelop still looks new! Girls you have been such an inspiration to me and I am so thankful that you are in my life.

To all those who have made an impact on me; being everyone I have ever met- whether you are in my life for a reason, a season or a lifetime you are important and I thank you.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Enlightened Summer

Of all the personal development camps and courses that I have taken, 10 since January 2008, I have discovered that Enlightened Warrior Training Camp is my camp. This camp is where I am the most myself. I resonate so strongly with this camp and its energy because it connects very strongly with my heart virtues.

I am committed to integrity and confidence!

Warrior camp provides this amazingly safe place for people to push themselves way outside of their comfort zones and grow. At this camp integrity is a major point that the trainers focus on.

Integrity:
  1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
  2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
  3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.
At Warrior we are taught that our word is LAW. When you say that you are going to do something you do it. Having integrity is keeping you word. Living your life as you have set out to live it. Being true to yourself!

Another huge part of this course is about building your confidence. There are many difficult processes that are presented to you throughout the week. Truthfully I did not believe I could accomplish half of them when I took the course. However I committed to playing 100% all week and so I gave every processes all I had. At the end of the week I could hardly believe all the things I had accomplished! The camp boosted my confidence that I could take on anything and that I am powerful.

The catch was that now I felt like a warrior; a masculine version of a warrior and I'm a girl! I sensed that something was still missing. This summer I volunteered at two Enlightened Warrior Training Camps. At the 1st camp in Ellenville, NY I found my feminine warrior. I found the goddess powered warrior. I felt that my warrior camp was now complete after volunteering in NY. In California I discovered just how much I like to play.

All in all this summer taught me a lot about myself and about others. I know what I am meant to be doing. I am meant to be holding space for others to grow.

I am committed to integrity and confidence!

I LOVE MY LIFE!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Top 5 Passions

While attending "Mind of Steel, Heart of Gold" this summer I met some of the most amazing people. One of them, Geoff, who I absolutely love ended up facilitating "The Passion Test" created by Chris and Janet Attwood for my mom, dad and one of my brothers after the camp. I was unable to go through the process at the same time because I was still traveling. My mother is now reading the book because it made such an impact on her and offered to help me figure out my Top 5 Passions. I am now sharing them with you and the universe. Universe please hear these and allow me to focus on them and getting each of them to a level 10!

My life is ideal, and I am...

1. Growing and expanding my knowledge and understanding of myself and the universe
2. Giving and receiving love in my romantically committed relationship with my ideal partner

3. Encouraging and supporting others to love themselves and to be their best at all times

4. Enjoying the company of my family and friends

5. Writing about my life; my joys, my heartaches, my successes and my challenges: my experiences

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Working on me...

I am slightly dazed at the fact that I am currently sitting at my computer blogging.
Earlier today I clicked on a fellow goddesses blog. I read a post had the urge to comment on it and then suddenly I was setting up my own blogger account. It's interesting how things happen.

I have always enjoyed writing. That's not to say that I am very good but I like it. I always have an opinion- about pretty much everything. I am not scared to voice those opinions and I tend to have really good insight. I find it easier to have these wonderfully insightful revelations when it is in reference to other people's lives though. Now I am going to write about my own life. I am intending that I become just as clever about my own life through my writing as I am about other people's lives.

Currently the men in my life that I seem to be in communication with are having relationship issues. Either they are breaking up with their significant others or they are just really unhappy. What's going on?

My parents just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary two weeks ago. I have always thought of them as the norm. I mean they are my norm. I have grown up knowing what love, compassion and joy means in a romantic relationship because I have seen it my whole life. Now I pause and wonder if they have become the rare ones. Are they abnormal? If this is the case the universe I want to be abnormal! I want what they have. I want to be confident, loved and overjoyed in a romantic relationship. None of the mind games or fighting everyone else seems to go through.