Sunday, February 28, 2010


I know I just wrote a post about how proud I am to be Canadian but I just have to say it again. I am so beyond amazed at how amazing our Canadian athletes were over the past 17 days! The final gold going to our men's hockey team! Now that Coke commercial that says, "Let's make sure they know who's game they're playing" has an extra special something to it!

I just cannot even believe what our athletes have been able to accomplish! 14 Gold medals! 14!!! GO CANANDA GO!!! I am so SO SO PROUD to be Canadian!

CONGRATS CANADA! We are truly amazing and we got the chance to show the world just how unique and special we really are. You are phenomenal!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Canadian Spirit

I am so very proud to be Canadian. I have always been very proud to be Canadian but I suppose there is something special about being from here while our elite athletes are competing at home during the Olympics. True that some of our Canadians have had some really hard breaks where we were meant to get a medal or where we were so very close to getting a medal and just missed it. I'll be honest I have been disappointed with some of the performances and then I remember that oh ya I'm not an athlete and there's no way I would have been able to even make it to the Olympics let alone win a medal myself.

Watching those performances just made me so sad for those very dedicated and determined athletes. These people have dedicated their lives to training in their discipline and just being at the Olympics representing their country is a phenomenal feat! I would LOVE to have something in my life that I was that dedicated to. I do not have the personality to ever go to the Olympics- if you remember not long ago I wrote about how I am not all that competitive.... with if I'm not mistaken you have to be pretty darn competitive to make it to the Olympics!

So as I sit and watch these winter Olympics taking place in Vancouver, Canada this February 2010 I am very proud to be Canadian and able to cheer on our fantastic athletes. I am sending lots of love and energy to all my fellow Canadians who are there and giving their performances everything they've got!

GO CANADA GO! You are amazing! Let's continue to show the world what we're made of! Thank you for representing us!

Saturday, February 13, 2010


Sometimes I really surprise myself with my reactions to certain situations. In this particular case I felt fine at first and then angry and pissed and sad and hurt and happy all at the same time.

My younger brother Chris and I have both applied to work for Peak Potentials Training because we love it. We both know that this is what we are meant to be doing. When I am at an event as Karma Krew, volunteering, I am there out of love and service and I will do anything to help make the event go smoother for both the krew and the participants. As it stands the core team on site treats both Chris and myself like core team. They give us more responsibility and have been training both of us on various core team positions so that when there is a spot on the team we are ready to be hired.

Thursday February 11th I had a call with Peaks at 2:30pm EST. It was a very nice and very appreciated, "We would love to be able to hire you now but it's just not in the cards at the moment. You are amazing and have great potential to be on the team at some point but right now we can only take on two people and you, sadly, are not one of them. Please trust the process and keep it up because you are awesome." I understood. I was perfectly fine with the outcome. Disappointed yes but ok none-the-less. Called my mom afterwards and let her know the outcome of the call.

Then I came home yesterday. While we were sitting down at dinner I remembered that Chris had a call at 7:30pm EST Thursday evening. So I asked how his call went and my mother's face dropped slightly. I automatically thought that meant he did not get the job either. But alas the face drop was sadness for me because he did get it. In all honesty here my stomach clenched and I was instinctively PISSED. I am being honest. The first thing that went through my mind was, 'why him and not me? I don't understand' I am truly happy for him because I know that this is what he is meant to be doing, I understand that for whatever reason he is needed now but it doesn't change the fact that I am disappointed.

I have known for a longer time that core team is where I wanted to be. My schedule is easier to work around. I have been at more events. There are all these things that keep saying I deserve it more. And then I stop and realize that Chris had in fact taken the step to be core team before I had. He took action and applied first. Did that have something to do with the decision? I have no clue but I suppose I am realizing that I am more pissed with myself for not having taken that step first and not believing in myself more.

I know I will be core. I know it at a cellular level in my body I just wish Chris and I could've been hired and gone through the process together.

Chris I am so proud of you and cannot wait to krew at your first core team event!

Sunday, February 7, 2010


I have been fortunate enough to be able to get away two weekends in a row now. Well technically speaking I was still in Montreal the last weekend of January, however I was not at my house. A good friend of mine came into town and we hung out all weekend. I had a truly fabulous time. We went out for breakfast; both of our favourites foods are breakfast foods, we went bowling; he bowled pretty consistently around 150 while I seemed to range more towards 120 or so- I swear I am normally a little bit better than that. We went out for dinner, we walked around old Montreal- which was painfully cold but fun none-the-less because we both love looking at the old and beautiful architecture. We watched movies, took naps (which I LOVE to do), went swimming (he may have beat me at bowling but I certainly kick his butt at swimming), drank some wine- generally speaking we just had a lot of fun together.

This relationship however is doomed for failure... Well the fact of the matter is that we, before he came up, had already established that it was to be a fun and easy weekend with no attachments. There are several reasons for this, none of which I wish to discuss with you right now, just take my word for it. Now although I am not necessarily attached, I mean I can live without seeing him again- but I most certainly do not want to. This then creates a slight problem because it would not serve either of us very well to fall into a routine with each other in this capacity. I love talking to him and hanging out with him and I know that no matter what happens we will be friends but I suppose I just can't help but think 'what if?'

Universe and Mom I am very well aware that this question of 'what if?' is what got me crushed two months ago with a similar situation that I had managed to get myself into. I understand that by going through with last weekend I have put both him and I into a much tougher situation than we were in before because now we have an idea of what could be and it's a nice idea. The issue is that it couldn't really be. I mean never say never but really neither he nor I are prepared for it to be anything past what it is as appealing as the thought is. All this being said I would not take back last weekend for anything! It truly was remarkable!

Did any of that make any sense to you? I am aware of what I am saying and it makes perfect sense to me- odd I know but still. If you have not already noticed I tend to talk in circles often and I think this entry is one of the more complex ones, it seems to be an intricate spiral instead of a simple circle actually. Point being that I am having a difficult time understanding exactly where the line is with our relationship and it is a balancing act that both of us are working on. The nice thing is that we are supporting each other with it.