Friday, December 28, 2012

Past, Present, Future, Parallel...

Do you believe that you have been here before? I don't mean physically in this particular spot before but I mean your soul. Has your soul, the essence of who you are, been on earth before? Lived a life prior to this one you are currently living? When you die will your soul return in another form to live another life?

I would guess that there are many people who have never asked themselves these kinds of questions, obviously I have... I do believe that I have been here before and I have this feeling that I will return again because somehow I do not think I will accomplish or learn everything I am meant to in this lifetime.

I am not sure how I feel about parallel lives though. Imagine how convenient it would be if your soul was learning twice as fast because not only is it living the life you are currently living it is also living a second one at the same time. I find it fascinating to think that this is possible, whether it is or not is completely irrelevant to what I want to discuss though- just thought it would be interesting food for thought.

Back to the topic at hand... Assuming I have been here before, I have experienced any number of things. It is possible that I have experienced both great tragedy and great success. It is possible that I have been very famous and powerful, just as I may have also been very poor and meager. Perhaps I have been abused or perhaps I have abused. In any case my soul knows. My soul has experienced it and it knows what I have been through and what I have yet to experience.

If my soul knows do you think it has brought it's knowledge forward and into this lifetime? Yes. (at least that's my answer) I am sure that my thoughts and feelings around certain things have no relevance to this current life. Have you ever gotten so angry about something but felt like you had no grounds to really be that angry? Regardless of what it violated? Have you ever wondered about it? I have.

I have had conversations about having children with various people in my life over the past few years and I still have not come to a definitive answer as to whether or not I want to have a child. I have often wondered why this is such a debate within me. I recently worked through this abnormal anger that I had around the subject when discussing it with particular people and discovered that it stemmed from a past life experience. I thought that I had already worked through it with a friend and yet apparently there was more- or perhaps a different life and situation. I have now managed to release the anger around the subject and I am very thankful, because it was very frustrating to not understand it. I now have an understanding of why I was so angry and I can accept it for what it was. I can allow it to be what it was and I can let it go in this lifetime. My soul clearly was not ready to let go of it before and it's possible that layers of it are still around but I have begun the work and that's what counts.

My past lives are my past, just as my experiences in this life are my past. Is my past relevant to who I am today? It has MADE me who I am today! If I focus only on clearly out my conditioning from this lifetime there would be layers and layers of junk that is beneath that, which I could be missing. I figure if I'm going to clean house I might as well be ready to go all the way into the darkest corners of the attic.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Safe drive

I am grateful that my parents and I have arrived safely in Hilton Head! AND that I got to see two deer cross the 95 in Virginia!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Honoring One People

I have never been so sad about a tragedy as I am about this one. I even feel guilty admitting that because is it any 'better' to have someone go and murder high school students vs. elementary school students? No. It is not 'better' in anyway. People of all ages and races, nationalities and religions should have respect and compassion for each other and honor each other as human beings.

What would the world look like if we all cared? If we all just honored the person next door for who they are and what they believe? EVEN if what they believe is different from what we believe? The world would be full of love and appreciation. As a matter of fact the world is already full of love and appreciation! It could just use a little magnification!!!

The tragedy that occurred on Friday December 14th at Sandy Cook Elementary school is one that has shaken me. I am deeply sadden by what has happened. Watching this beautiful tribute made me cry, reading the posts of amazing children wanting to honor their peers by sending balloons off into the sky had me crying as well. My desire to honor these beautiful souls who have now moved on has brought me to wanting to acknowledge and honor all those from the various other mass shootings that I may not have before.

It also gets me wondering why we go to war. Why is it 'okay' to send soldiers into other countries where they inevitably kill others; women, men and children, but we get up in arms when it happens in our own back yard? Why are we not up in arms when ANYONE gets murdered? I just cannot understand.

If you are reading this I want to tell you that you are human and remind you to love those around you, even when you disagree because we are ONE people living in six billion worlds. 

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Third Wheel

Have you ever felt like the third wheel with a pair of friends? Or maybe family? Sometimes it's not a third wheel, it's more like a fifth wheel- in anyway it's always an odd wheel. I have begun to feel that way with a few relationships that I have. I certainly feel it with my family. They are all so wonderful at continuing to create space for me in their lives but ultimately I am the odd one out. I am the only one without a significant other and so I create that seventh wheel in this case.

The other relationship I really feel it in is with my girlfriends. It's really funny to me because I was the connecting link between them when we first started hanging out together and now... I am most certainly the third wheel. When I am with either of them individually it's all good. But when the two of them get together I really do feel like the outsider. I am not as witty or quick on the draw with snarky comments, I don't have the inside jokes with them and  I work a totally different position than them.

This week, at the beginning was particularly challenging for me. I was struggling with the feeling of being left out of something. And then I stepped back and realized that I have a connection with so many other amazing people that have been around me all week and that this time is an opportunity to really be with them. I began to the appreciate the fact that I am friends with many people and that I can integrate myself into many different situations.

In the end sometimes it's nice to be the odd ball out :)

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Online vs. Real World

How do you meet people?

There is this large debate going on in my head about how to go about meeting new people and more specifically guys. I meet new people when I work constantly!!! Only problem with that is that they live in whatever city I am traveling to and not in the city I live in.

So what about online? Does it work? I have three girlfriends who have found their significant others online. I keep really wanting to put my trust in it and yet also keep having second thoughts about the whole processes.

Today one of my guy friends was saying how the online dating thing is just not for him. He prefers the unpredictability of real world dating. Meeting someone in some random situation like grabbing the same book at the library... who goes to libraries now?!

This then got me thinking about how the online world is just as real as the real world. It looks different sure but it is still just another avenue to meet people. And I think that in both the 'real world' and the online one people can be equally as judgmental and superficial. So what is the real difference?

Perhaps this post was really just for me to convince myself that there is merit in the whole online thing and that I could actually give it a viable chance. Or pehaps it was just to open someone else's mind to the possibility... Somehow I really think it was for me but you never know... Did I open your mind?! :)