Saturday, February 12, 2011

Martyr Mirror

A martyr in the context of what I am referring to, by definition is; "a person who seeks sympathy or attention by feigning or exaggerating pain, deprivation, etc." I have recently discovered that this quality in people that I have been interacting with drives me CRAZY!

It took me some time to process what it was about this person that was bugging me so much. Then it finally hit me. They were not playing a victim per-say, rather they were playing the part of the martyr. They could do no wrong. They were the ones putting in all the effort and exhausting themselves getting everything done just right and no one else was assisting, supporting or able to do as well. Once I figured out what it was that was bugging me I knew instantly what a fabulous reflection they were for me.

I still do it. To this day I have my moments where I feel like I am the only person who can do what I do and that even if people try to help it's never good enough or I could do it better. How is it that after all the work that I have done on myself I still have those thoughts?!

Anyway a BIG learn for me from witnessing the role of the martyr being played is to be very aware of my actions and thoughts, specifically while working events in order to notice and choose differently. I choose to allow others to assist me and I choose to step them up for success by giving them as much support as I can.

Thank you to Kelly for really making the mirror crystal clear for me. I love that you can see what I cannot and most of all you have the balls to call me on it! xoxox

Thursday, February 10, 2011


Situations, or moments occur in my life all the time- by definition a moment happens, well, every second does it not? Anyway. Sometimes I am impressed and other times a little frightened at how off topic my brain and thought process is. I always get to a point eventually but go about it in such odd ways sometimes. You are probably wondering what the hell my point is and why I seem to be avoiding talking about it...

So situations... I manage to find myself is some execpetionally and oddly constructed situations. My friend Nick says the movie of his life is a sitcom and after last night I would agree with him. If my life were a movie I like to think of it as a romantic comedy... at this point however it feels more like some twisted drama or film noir with a not so funny sense of humour.

You see Nick and I have sort of been seeing each other but are not 'official' by whatever dating standards there are. We enjoy each others' company and were just having fun. We decided that it worked for us. About a month ago I came to the decision that it was no longer really working for me and that it would be best to be friends. I care about him deeply and there is no way I would be willing to let go of our friendship, I just couldn't see it getting anymore serious than it already was. So I began to deal with my choice mentally and decided to talk to him when I saw him. Only when I finally did see him I couldn't seem to find the words.

I finally explained it to him last night. He was fine. And then he shared how funny it was that I was saying this now. Why do you think it was funny? Betcha you cannot guess! It was like the universe was pulling some sick and twisted joke on both of us. Nick was going to ask me out right before I went a said I wanted to be friends. Seriously? Seriously!!! I had to laugh because it was just too ridiculous. He said it so well, "you just broke up with me before I even asked you out" How special can I be?

Situations... how do I manage to create them? I know in my heart that Nick and I are meant to be great friends. I know that we are there for each other and that we will continue to support each other. I just also know that we are not what we need romantically right now.

Nick- you make me smile, all the time, with all the silly things you say and just by smiling at me. Thank you for being there for me. xoxoxox

Oh situations...

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


Dimanche matin, Kelly, Tina et moi-même, ont rendu dans mon voiture et ont a partie sur un aventure. (On Sunday morning Kelly, Tina and myself got into my car and left on an adventure.

Carnival in Quebec City was waiting for us!!!

After a three hour car ride we arrived at our destination. We checked into our beautiful and quaint hotel room, which had a brick wall, then headed out to join the festivities. Walking around the site was challenging, with the combination of snow, slush, hills and many, many, many people. We managed to see a lot of what Carnival had to offer.

Walking around I got to watch parents pull their very young children around on little sleighs, adults zip line above the festivities and adults and children alike play in a game of human fooseball! Truly an entertaining experience.

From Carnival we walked around Old Quebec, which is a sight to see. The buildings are so old and cute. I love walking around and looking at the old stone houses all stuck together which have now been turned into hotels, like the one we stayed at, and restaurants, like the one we had breakfast at, and shops of various varieties AND who can forget pubs- like the one we stopped to have a drink at after dinner. We saw the Guinness sign and walked into the very busy pub... it was super-bowl. We made some friends, watched the end of the game and then walked our butts back up the hill to bed.

Monday morning was breakfast, some more sight seeing and a tube ride down the hill at Carnival before heading back to Montreal. Overall this trip was a major success! We laughed and ate and played and just enjoyed each other's company. Here's the video of the events, should you wish to view it!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Pack-up Queen

The month of January 2011, was a whirlwind. I am honestly not sure how I got through all of it. From Calgary to Montreal to Rawdon for retreats back to Montreal for another MMI... to finally... SPA Day!!! In the end of course I had a phenomenal month and would not change it for world... during it though I certainly had my moments.

I came home from Calgary and headed out to Rawdon for a grade 5 retreat. It was fun. Not super challenging but fun none-the-less. I got to return home for the weekend and prepare the house and my room for guests before leaving for Rawdon again on Monday morning. This time the retreat was high school leadership group- my favorite. I have worked with many of the students before at previous retreats and I was so happy to see them again. Some of them actually gave me a hug when they got off the bus.

For three days I got to witness teens grow as leaders and really step into their power. This retreat was like nothing Dynamix had ever done before and it was AWESOME!!! I was so proud of Amanda who developed much of the program and of the students for taking it on! By the end of the retreat I was grinning from ear to ear. I am still grinning. I was just so proud of all of them!!! I also learned ALOT about myself and how I am better at going with the flow and making adjustments than I give myself credit for.

From the retreat back to Montreal I drove- on my own, without a radio. Admittedly I figured out another solution and just put my iPod on! Anyway point being that coming back to Montreal and home would normally be very relaxing... this time was all about picking up people from the airport, making sure the house was ready for all of our guests and making sure everyone ate. It was a busy evening which lead to an even busier weekend which gave way to incredible transformations for over 500 people! Was the chaos worth it for me? Abso-fruckin-lutly!!!

I played to role of Karma Krew Coordinator and Pack-up Queen! After many a debriefs with my wonderful krew I have figured out that I have a lot of work to do. I have myself a list of things that I can do differently for next time- a big one being to be more present to what's actually going on within the team. Being on pack-up there was a lot of stuff that I did not personally witness but heard about... Here's the problem with that- when I go to address a situation I feel unprepared if I have not personally experienced it. I can only really talk about my own experience anyway right? Big learn for me right there. Whoever the Karma Krew Coordinator must be someone who is in the event room the majority of the time.

As far as pack-up learn; I am so proud of myself! I killed the pack-up!!! I began packing on Saturday so as to be as prepared as possible for Sunday night. I enjoyed playing tetrus with the boxes on the pallets! It was also kind of nice to be doing a job on my own. I got to be proactive and responsible for myself and in the end the team because the better I did the faster we all got to leave on Sunday!

The best part of the last month; taking the time to stop and unwind. Monday morning a group of ten of us, that worked the event, headed out to the spa. We went from outdoor hot tubs, to dry saunas, to nap time, to steam sauna and arctic pools. Dedicating this time to myself was easily the best thing I did this month. After going, going, going, all month to finally stop and relax was wonderful.

Next big learn- take time for me! My work, although super fun and rewarding takes a lot of energy and in order to keep doing what I do as well as I do it, I need to learn to recharge my batteries and take some time off in-between.

Thank you so far 2011!