Parenthood

In the honour of full disclosure here, I am very unsure as to whether or not I want to be a parent. I remember the first time I spoke that phrase out loud to some girlfriends of mine they looked at me like I was crazy, and that must have been about four years ago now. I still feel like I am very much on the fence about it. For me if I am on the fence it means I am leaning more towards the not having kids because let's face it, it would be be beyond ridiculous of me to be on the fence about being parent and still embark on the journey! I believe that there is a huge difference between my fence position right now and the position or thought of "I know I want kids I am just scared that I won't do a good job" To me that thought makes perfect sense because really we never know what's going to come up or what's going to happen and as a parent especially you just have to go with the flow and take things as they come.

I suppose you are wondering what has brought about this topic of blog... Well many things in my life seem to have been around the talk of kids recently, which of course has got me thinking. My cousin is pregnant and is due to give birth on May 10th- coming up soon! So we are preparing to throw her a baby shower. I have never been to a baby shower before and am excited to become an aunt. I realize that technically speaking I am not an aunt since this baby girl is not my niece but I am still going to be referred to as aunt Veronica! There is baby talk number one. This topic of conversation with other friends also inevitably brings up their experiences with baby showers and kids in general.

Then, on top of just the talk, friends of ours came over this weekend with their kids. They have three; a 6 almost 7 year old girl and two twin 4 year old boys. These kids are very cute- I will certainly give them that. When they use their words and ask nicely for things I am more than happy to respond. However when they use whiny voices and don't ask for what they want I stop listening. They can whine all they want I am not going to respond. I figure at some point they will realize that whining does not get them anywhere. Now I am well aware that as an outsider it is easy to look in and have opinions, while in the heat of the fire of parenthood it becomes a much greyer area of unknowns. When do you give in? When do you not? How do you know what battles to pick? This has me thinking that I do not want to have to go through all of this. I also am keenly aware that if I ever become a mother I will be a very strong one who will simply not put up with kids running all over me. I will be similar to my mom in many ways. My experience dealing with kids has already shown me that.

Perhaps I will be a mom... Or perhaps I will be the coolest most awesomest aunt ever! I keep thinking that I am simply going to have to play it by ear and see what life has in store for me. Aunts are just as important! Read Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love. She knows she does not want kids. Well now she does anyway, and she talks about the important role that the none mothers, aka the aunts throughout societies have played and will continue to play.

All in all kids are a very large part of my life already without having any of my own... Perhaps I will feel very different when that perfect guy for me appears. Who really knows? All I know for certain is that if I had to pick the perfect guy for me or kids it would be the guy. The guy comes first in the equation! Remember the song... "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage" Some people skip the last part while others skip the first and jump straight to the last one. Who knows!