All I know is I need to write. What this post will end up being about I still have no idea. I know that as I type though, a line of thought is being created in my head and will guide me through this post. And sure enough there it is...
Guys. Or more so, relationships. I mean really how surprising could it possibly be that I of all people am called to write about relationships... again.
There has been an on going battle in my mind for the last two weeks or so. Some days it doesn't even phase me and others it seems to be all I can think of. I am primarily over it now, which is why I think I can write about it. I began a conversation with this guy back in May. We do not live in the same city, which clearly makes things a little more complicated. When we happened to be at the same event we hung out and when I was coming to his town we made plans. Had an awesome night.
I can see the possibility. He may also be able to see the possibility and maybe that's what caused the braking motion. Truth be told I am still not exactly sure what happened or what is going on for him and even if he were to explain it I will never full understand it because I am not him- it's really just that simple.
The one thing that I did discover- I did not have the urge to run!!! This may sound small and irrelevant since we are no longer, for lack of a better term to describe whatever we were, seeing each other however this is BIG for me. For the first time I was ready to take a stand and commit to seeing where our friendship and relationship could go. For the first time I was not the one saying, "I'm not sure this is a good idea." For the first time I was not the one backing off.
What does all that mean? Well in my rationalizing of it, it means that I am much closer to being ready for the right relationship to come into my life. I get that this was not the right one and that's okay, it was another learning experience for me and I hope that we can still get to know each other and be friends, and if not that's okay too. In the end I feel better and more being open to the possibility of something right coming in.
Success!
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