Sunday, March 4, 2012

Egotistical Much?!

Apparently this week has been about major realizations/ insights for me. The messages have come from several sources and I am so grateful that I have such amazing people in my life.

Last night, after a full day de-bugging with others I had some of my own stuff to work out. Again I chose to work on my relationship needs. I created an intention statement for my life; I am open to and forge an intimate loving relationship with another. This is the optimal statement for me at this time, however I have three barriers preventing me from having this.

What could those barriers possibly be?
1. My ego holds me back (I'll talk about this again in a bit)
2. Time and effort- to forge such a relationship requires energy.
3. My distrust of men in an intimate relationship (I have been disappointed by a few)

And so I sat on the Wavemaker for 6 minutes to clear out the energy around these barriers. I currently feel much better about my statement and like it is really in the works! The universe is bringing me exactly what I have asked for!

Now, however, I would like to elaborate on my first barrier and share with you just how self-centered and above all others I had apparently made myself.

I have never been seriously challenged by my significant other in any of my 'relationships', no matter what form they were in. I felt like I was always the dominate personality. Oh but wait, not only was I the dominant personality, I was also much more self aware and advanced than them. I was so much higher on the staircase and I was now responsible for pulling them up.

WHAT THE F%&*?!!!

Seriously who do I think I am?! I am not better or worse than anyone, I am just me and they are just them.

As I communicated this really twisted vision that I had of the staircase and I discovered that I did not want that kind of relationship my vision changed. Suddenly I was on a step and my partner was on the step below me. He then joined me on my step before moving onto the next one and waiting for me to join him.

Now that is the kind of relationship I can get excited about! One where we challenge and inspire each other to be the absolute best versions of ourselves constantly!!! I am not perfect and I do not want perfection- I just want to forge an intimate loving relationship with another :)

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