Life in the movies

Have you ever gone through something and then replayed it over and over and over again in your mind, as if you are watching a movie in a theatre? I feel like I have done this my entire life. I will replay a moment or an event over and over again in my mind and change or add details to see what could've happened differently. 

Now as I write this I am reminded of a speaker that I have now seen speak three times. He has a theory called the 15^th row critic; and it's basically that we all have a 15^th row critic in our minds. Apparently movie critics sit in the 15^th row when they go watch a movie and they critique- that is, after all, their job. If we all have these critics how do we learn to deal with them?

My critic replays moments on the screen, it rewinds them, pauses them, brightens them, slows them down or speeds them up. Sometimes it flat out changes the events themselves, adding more to the story line or taking things out, ultimately changing the ending.

This critic morphing my life moments happens more frequently when said moments involve guys. More specifically guys that I happen to like. I create these stories in my mind; the film screen, of what I want or how I want it to happen. And when something else occurs I replay it over and over again trying to change it into being what I really wanted.

As I write this now I feel how insane I must sound! Admittedly when I got back to my room, from a night out recently, and debriefed my evening with my roommate, I said to her, “I could've done more” and she very poignantly asked, “Do you hear yourself?” And in that moment I realized that I was INSANE!

Whatever happened, happened exactly as it was meant to happen and I just have to let go and trust that. I am far from perfect and just because something may or may not happen the way I see it, or the way I would like to recreate it does not mean that it did not happen absolutely perfectly!

I am a work in progress that's for sure!

Pay Attention

Welcome to today's lesson about paying attention.

Have you ever made an appointment and then not shown up? Or arrived half an hour prior to the scheduled appointment time?

Welcome to my life right now. This week seems to have gone by in a bit of a blur. I am not entirely sure that I accomplished anything. I know that I had a few moments of genius but they were few and far between. I seem to have arrived at home from another event and all I wanted to do, this is not surprising because it happens all the time, is lay on my couch reading a book or putzing around online. I took naps practically every afternoon which, although was lovely, did not allot for much productivity.

This week I have stuff to do that requires me to leave my house. I have appointments this week before I basically take off for the summer. This brings me back to my original thought processes for this blog. I have an appointment scheduled for 30 mins from now, this very moment. I, in one of my bouts of genius, arrived to my appointment early. Now all the communication between myself and the women I am meeting said our appointment was at 10:30am- the emails, my iPhone calendar- all of it. Yet somehow I decided last night that my appointment was actually at 10am.

I arrived at her house ten minutes early for my “10am” appointment. I took my time and called to make another appointment for this week. Then as I hung up something just felt off. So I went back to our communication and discovered that I was now not only 10 mins early but actually 40 minutes early. When did I decide to not pay attention to ALL the info I have telling me what time things are at?! Although in the end had I not been this early I would not be sitting by the water writing this blog post right now.

I have been wanting to go sit by the water and read/write since I got home a week ago and it has been raining all week- not exactly go sit by the water kind of weather. Now it is sunny and warm and there is a small breeze- PERFECT go sit by the water kind of weather!

Thank you Universe for sending me down here early and for helping me remember to stop, look and listen.

Take time to breathe in the world around you- I finally am right now and I am very grateful for it.

Ps- she thought our appointment was for tomorrow, so we now have it on Friday...

Momentum

You are standing at the top of a snowy mountain. You create a small snowball. You then push it down the mountain and watch it not only gain speed but also gain in size. It keep rolling the and by the end it is the same diameter of a monster truck wheel!

That's momentum.

In the 'real world' momentum is the same thing. The more momentum something has the faster it goes and the bigger it gets.

Coeur Values is a company that believes that your Coeur Values are the Heart of your business. They help startups small businesses and solo-preneurs get un-stuck in growing their business, work smarter
not harder and increase the value of their business without them.

This company is gaining major momentum and is propelling forward in both the small business market and the corporate world. People are recognizing the amazing value they provide and are becoming raving fans.

I am extremely grateful to be part of the team that is Coeur Values. The word coeur means heart in French and that is exactly why we chose it! As a business your core values ARE the heart of your business, they are what you base all of your decisions on. The more in alignment you are with your values and your decisions the more successful your business will be.

When you have a team that is dedicated to growth momentum becomes inevitable.

Check us out: 
Facebook Coeur Values Fan Page
Twitter: @CoeurValues
YouTube: CoeurValues Channel
Pinterest: Pins from the Coeur

"I have your back"

Have you ever worked with a team of people who either full out say the words, "I have your back?" OR just so implicitly act that way that you do not need them to actually say the words to you?

I am so grateful that these are the kinds of people that I work with directly.

I worked an event last week in a position that I have not worked in over 3 years. I knew that I would ultimately be fine; not only fine actually- I would do well. I knew this because I FULLY trusted the team at the back of the room to do their absolute best and to have my back. We had some pretty wicked curve balls thrown at us and we managed to catch most of them.

When chaos happens at the front of the room it tends to happen at the back of the room as well. In my training I used an analogy that I once heard from someone else; I would like to give them credit but I don't remember who I first heard it from. When we are at the back table ready to sign people up for programs we are the rocks of a cliff. The waves come in and crash upon the rocks, over and over again, while the rocks stay grounded and in control. The amazing team seemed to really take this analogy to heart and they did exactly that. They stayed calm and grounded even when the chaos came towards them.

I am SO grateful that I had such an amazing team when I needed them. They had my back when I just wanted to throw in the towel and walk away. I loved that we created a space to say whatever we needed to say, openly, honestly and without judgement. To the wonderful team of people that I worked with last week; you know exactly who you are- thank you. Thank you for having my back!!!

Emotional Changes

This is likely one of the hardest blog posts I have ever sat down to write and will likely result in a lot of tears for me as I write.

The last two days have been rocky at best as a description. The company I work for and have written about before several times, is undergoing changes. It's actually the only certain thing about this company, there will always be changes :)

What I do understand is that the perception of how we are going to be running our company is shifting. In this shifting there have been staffing changes. I am sad. I am glad. I am nervous. I am excited. I am honored. I am curious. I am thankful. I am uncertain. I am open. As you can see I am feeling a very broad and somewhat contradictory array of emotions.

I am sad that we have lost members of our family. To all of you; you know exactly who you are, I love you so much and I am forever grateful for all that I have learned from you. You have been part of my journey with this company and I will never forget how much each of you has done for me. I know that we are still connected as friends, even if not as co-workers in this context.

To my family that is still around I love you too. You are the reason I am still here. It has been your work ethic and abilities that have supported my growth as a leader in the way I needed it. You are my brothers and sisters; one of you literally.

I am excited, curious, nervous and uncertain about where the company can go from here, I am honored and glad that I have been chosen to stay on, I am thankful that I am taking the time to honor my way of processing and I am open to what comes next.

This week has clearly been emotionally charged. I am not sure how else to say it. When I look into the eyes of my family now and I see their love and open hearts and respect and honor from me reflected back I am almost instantly in tears. When I know I have a safe space to just say what I need to I am almost instantly crying or laughing or just silent.

I am discovering that there is magic is silence. When we had our call explaining what has happened the floor was open to either disconnect from the call and process on our own or stay on the call and ask whatever questions where coming up or share anything that was coming up. Nothing happened for a good 3 minutes, which I know sound short- when in silence though feels really really long. No one wanted to leave and no one wanted to say anything. When a family member's very wise voice echoed on the call saying something like, "There's nothing wrong with sitting in silence!"

I realize this is not actually silence; for me it is. I thank you for bearing with my emotional thought process. In the end what I have realized most is that I care deeply and that I love more deeply than I ever realized before.