Ears

Is there a difference between listening and hearing?

According to dictionary.com a definition of listen is to wait attentively for a sound. Definition of hear is

to listen to; give or pay attention to. So yes I believe that these two actions are actually very different. 

 

Someone can easily be listening to you and not hearing you. The action of listening implies that you are hearing the sounds of something. However it does not mean that you are hearing the words that someone is speaking to you. Also even when you are hearing someone it does mean that you are really hearing or understanding them. 

 

Having conversations with people about things that you cannot understand because it simply does not make sense in your world makes it extremely hard to actually hear what they are saying. 

 

Lesson learned- do my best to really listen AND hear them!!! 

Two Left Feet

Ladies I have a question for you; have you ever danced with a male partner and really allowed him to lead? This would mean that you did not lead and that you simply trusted him to guide you to the correct position- or any position really.

Four years ago I attended and event where learning the tango was a process we had to do. I stood on the 'single' said of the room, which was dominated by females and learned the steps to the best of my ability. Then we had to practice with a partner. Sometimes I would have a male partner to dance with and other times I would be dancing with a female and we would take turns leading. During this process I learned two things, 1. I am not very good at leading and 2. I am not very good at following, which actually brings me to a third learning, 3. I am not very good at the tango!

Two years ago we had another tango session at another event. This time I was working the event and therefore did not have much opportunity to dance. However towards the end I joined the floor as well. I had the privilege of dancing with a trained ballroom dancer and I had no problem following him- he effortlessly guided me to where I needed to go. Then I danced with a friend who was perfectly capable of moving me in the direction he wanted even if we were not doing ANYTHING remotely resembling the tango. I discovered that it is one thing to follow someone you trust and another to follow someone simply because they are leading you.

This year I was at an event... no tango lessons this time however there is a reason I brought dancing up in the first place- I promise! My friend Ben grabbed my hand and began dancing with me. He held me close, pushed me away, turned me around, did all the things you normally would in a partner dance. Normally I would be anticipating the next move and where I would need to go. This time, however, I allowed myself to be guided by one of the most masculine men in my life, whom I completely trust. I did not always feel this way about Ben, I had some reservations about him for some time and yet this dance somehow showed me a part of Ben I had not seen before.

In the end the point of this blog is to answer my original question. I am very thankful that I can answer YES to the question. It was an incredible feeling to really just allow my body to be moved and guided for me, all I had to do was get out of the way!

L.O.V.E.

I feel in love with this picture the moment I saw it. First of all I love Winnie-the-Pooh, he is just so cuddly and cute! Whenever I see a picture of him I wish he was real so I could give him a hug! The second reason being that I seem to have had many conversations in the past few weeks about the word LOVE and what it means to people.

I have discovered, while writing my book, that loving someone and being IN love with someone are two different things for me. That is not the case for many people.

I say "I love you" to my parents, my brothers, my girlfriends, my co-workers- anyone that I care about deeply really. I love people. True that sometimes people make me crazy, ultimately though I still love them for who they are and how they show up! If I am friends with you chances are I love you.

Being IN love with someone is very different for me. When I am IN love it means romantic love. It is different from family and friends kind of love. When I am IN love with someone my heart aches for that person. I cannot stop thinking about them. They, in a non creepy way, become the focus of my desire.

The question is, how do you know you are IN love with someone? Winnie-the-Pooh implies that is really just as simple as feeling it. What happens when your mind gets involved though and now you cannot differentiate between lust and love? Or infatuation and love? Or desire and love? Or need and love?

Trust. I have come to the conclusion while writing this blog that it comes down to trust. Trust in yourself that you will know the feeling of being IN love with another and that it will be honest and true and real for you. After all, "You don't spell love. You feel it."

Space Between

I have been told that when you meditate you are seeking the space between your thoughts. The idea is to focus on those spaces and then clear your mind of the thoughts.

I have also heard that the space between your thoughts is where healing happens.

So when there are 530kms between two beings what happens?

If the space between thoughts is about healing and peace and meditation what does the space between two beings represent?

The first thing that comes to mind is, a challenge. Building a relationship at a distance may not be easy and when one gets involved with someone who is that far away one must be prepared for the work and effort that goes into making it work.

The question then is; is it worth it?

The only person that can answer that question is you. Is it worth it? You have to make the choice to either step up to the plate and commit to figuring it out OR step back and wait for the next pitch.

A friend of mine wrote a blog post recently about her past relationship and the highways they were travelling on. In one she wanted to keep driving and he wanted to take the exit and in the other one he just seemed to be three cars lengths ahead of her the whole time and not slow down to give her time to catch up.

So what happens when you find a car that is going your speed and right beside you? Do you travel back and forth the 530kms to be together?

Does the space between become this area for growth that you utilize in order to allow the relationship to flourish or does it become the space where you realize you are actually at two totally different exits?! I suppose you never really know until you give it a shot!

Human Rights

I graduated high school and decided to study communications. I spent the next five years analyzing the media; movies, tv shows, news, advertisements, if you see it or hear it I studied it.

Since I finished school and I began my focused path of personal growth I have been pretty good about only listening to, reading or watching media that makes me feel good. I no longer listen to the news for the most part because I find it makes my body tense and I do not particularly enjoy the feeling.

Two days ago I began to watch as posts about Kony 2012 popped up on my Facebook news feed. I ignored them. I managed to ignore them until late that night when I noticed that even my younger brother- who does not normally share links- posted that you had to watch the video. And so I hit play.

The video moved me. I am committed to Respect, Integrity and Confidence so watching this video and learning- not for the first time but really paying attention to it now- about how kids have been (are being- past, present, future, I don't think it matters when these atrocities occur, if they are or have occurred does respect and justice not deserve to be fought?!) abducted from their homes and forced to become part of an army who's purpose is to hold 'power' over others triggered something in me.

'Power' in this context is really just about ego. How much energy can Kony suck away from others? How much energy did Hitler take from his people? To live in fear- genuine fear that you may die at any moment at the hands of someone else is no way to live!

What would happen to our world if each and every person knew just how beautiful and strong they are? If they knew that they have infinite power within themselves and in nature to nourish them constantly? What would our world look like then if people no longer felt the need to take energy from others in order to fill themselves up?

I believe there would be peace. Bullies like the ones at your school, or work or Kony would no longer exist because they too would know just how wonderful and powerful they are.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Kill them with kindness?" I am not by any means saying that we should simply love Kony more and that would cause his cold heart to melt and actually begin beating again but I am saying that maybe he needs some love too.

Everyone on this planet deserves to feel loved. Yes there are people who have done terrible things and yes I believe that they need to stop treating others terribly, I just also believe that they need to begin to love themselves.

I am supporting the Kony 2012 campaign because I am committed to Respect, Integrity and Confidence and I believe that every human being deserves to feel loved and to have the opportunity to have fun and love life; not fear it. The children of Africa deserve to be able to go to bed and dream beautiful dreams and not worry that someone may steal them in the middle of the night.

I believe that it would serve the world to have Kony answer to something.

I also believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason and I am very curious as to what the MUCH larger picture of the affects of this campaign will be.

Perhaps Kony's purpose on this planet was to create such fear and rage in us in order to move us to a new understanding of what love really is? I don't really know, but somehow the thought comforts me because it give me hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.