Vulnerability

Your taboo is the one thing that you don't want others to think of you as. It's a part of you that you tend to not acknowledge. It also happens to be the part of you that if you are willing to risk people thinking of you as it you are able to step into greatness.

For example, someone who's taboo is being seen as greedy would have a hard time selling their product or service, because they don't want people to think that they are being greedy. However, when they are willing to have someone perceive them as being greedy (this does not mean that they are actually greedy) then they are able to sell and therefore they are able to help and serve more people.

My taboo is being seen as being too intimate or vulnerable. I have no problem owning the darker parts of myself; my bitch, my slut, my selfishness or my loudness. I have an issue letting people in. I mean like really sitting and being open, raw and leaving my heart on the table.

How does this actually translate the way greed does? Well when I am open and allow the universe to speak through me and really use me I can see through people and what they are not saying. I can feel into them and I suddenly have questions to ask that trigger the real issues. This, however, requires me to be open, connected and therefore vulnerable; which means that people can also see in! It scares me.

A while ago I posted a blog entitled “I like you. Do you like me?” When I wrote it I really did feel like I had told guys in the past that I was interested. It wasn't until Friday that I understood what it really means to be open and really communicate what I want. It was messy and far from perfect, however I said it!

I told the guy that I was interested in that I liked him and that I wanted to be more than friends. It was raw and I was terrified and it was messy (there's really no better word for it). I was really proud of myself for stepping into the 'danger' zone and being willing to take to risk of being rejected in order to speak my truth and communicate what I want.

I have known for awhile that February was going to be bringing about a shift in my life, even if I have had no idea how that's going to happen or what the heck it really means. All I know is that the universe has put something into motion and it's kicking into gear this month. This week at Ultimate Relationship Retreat, a new course with Peak Potentials, was the start.

“Declare your desire with a fearless heart!”

That is my biggest take away. And I did that yesterday. I declared my desire with a fearless, although trembling, heart! Every step forward is progress and this step was HUGE for me. I am stepping into my vulnerability and owning that I am far from perfect and that I want to allow people in. 

Is Life a Competition?

"Do you by any chance have a tough time not comparing where you are in life to where others are?"

This was a question that I posed to a friend and fellow blogger the other day. I feel like I have asked myself this question so many times over the last year and a half or so. The trigger this time was a girlfriend and her finance who have just bought their first house.

There are things happening in my life that make me feel like I am accomplishing something and then there are times when I question where I'm at and if it's enough. 

I feel both very old and very young all at the same time. 

Old: (although I think mature is a more accurate word) I travel for work, my book is being published within the next week, I've spoken in front of hundreds of people... Kinda old and mature things.

On the flip side... I live at home, am currently single, have no major savings or major investments.

And then I look at my brother who is now a father and getting married in May and friends who have now bought a house and are getting married in June and other friends who own places and are in committed relationships and I wonder, what am I doing? AND then I wonder if I've missed the boat. OR does the boat come around frequently and I can just grab the next one? OR am I really meant to be on a completely different boat right now?!

In the end though it brings me back to the saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side" which then makes me think of the revision of said saying, "The grass is always greener where you water it" I am really very grateful for the life that I have. I have a job I enjoy, I have friends and family I love and who love and support me, I have my health and I have faith that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing to get me to wherever I need to go. Does it mean that I will never question myself again? NO! lol 

The little voice in your head that seems to always have a comment about everything will never go away- you better get used to it. You can however, talk to it and let it know that although you hear it you know better and are choosing to think differently. For me the conversations with my little voice happen every single day and multiple times a day at that!

Life is not a competition. Everyone is playing their own game!

Hot vs. Sexy; Is there a difference?

Two nights ago I went out with some friends to see a Guns 'N Roses tribute band perform.

I enjoy music but have never been one to follow any band really closely or even care that much to go to shows. I figured this would be a fun evening out with friends, and I could use one of those.

The opening band was good, I think... It was so loud and it just sounded like screaming to me so truth be told I really didn't care for them much. Their crazy long hair and swinging of said hair however, was a lot of fun to watch. I've been trying to grow my hair out for the past few years and these guys have way longer and would be nicer hair, if they styled it, than mine! I wasn't attracted to any of the guys in this band. They just didn't do anything for me. After all they all have nicer hair than me!

Then the tribute band got up on stage and actually did a really solid job. I obviously loved when they sang their more popular and widely known songs, which I actually knew. Now I'm not the biggest Guns 'N Roses fan so some people may disagree with me, but I  thought the lead singer sounded a lot like Axel Rose. Watching this band I was totally captivated him.

At one point the thought crossed my mind; he's kinda sexy, but not hot. This then caused me to think back to a conversation that I actually had with several different people around two years ago about wether there was a difference between the labels Hot and Sexy.

Is there?

Many people I spoke to believed that there is certainly a difference, however the only way they were able to explain it was to go through different celebrities and label them. Once they had done that for a few people they were able to explain it a little bit more.

My friend Shaun I think actually articulated it in the most concise way and pretty accurate way; "I think hot is like surface level where sexy is much deeper then that. Sexiness is a way of being, it's how a lady rocks what she's got."

For me hot is purely physical. Look at a picture of someone and say whether they are hot or not without taking their personality into account. 

Sexy is about confidence and charisma.

Can someone be Hot and not Sexy? Yes. Can someone be both hot and sexy? Yes. Can someone be neither? Yes.

Is it important to be physically attracted to the person you are dating? Yes. I believe that the person you date should fall into the sexy category if not both. Otherwise you've gotta have a different label for them without the scale; good looking, cute, pretty, attractive... 

Is it possible that someone becomes better looking as you get to know them? Yes. Is it possible that someone loose their sex appeal all together once they open their mouth? Yes. 

There are a lot if factors that go into the very judgmental process of labeling hot or sexy.

Examples of celebrities;
George Clooney- sexy; he has confidence, charm and talent.
Brad Prit- both; I think he's a great actor and I could also just stare at him.
Ashton Kutcher- sexy; I didn't even like him until I saw his acceptance speech for his award at the Teens choice awards, then he was sexy.
Channing Tatum- both; I could stare at him for hours but there's something about him that makes me curious and want to get to know him.
Jeremy Piven- sexy; I'm not even sure how to explain this one, I just think he's super sexy.

James Franco- hot; I'm not a big James Franco fan but give him props on his looks.

Kate Hudson- both; there's something intriguing about her and she's easy on the eyes.
Sandra Bullock- sexy; she could be both but her intelligence and depth tip her scale primarily to sexy.

Megan Fox- hot; I'm not sure I would put her in the sexy group, but she's stunning. 

Kristin Bell- both; her humility and humour make her totally sexy.

These are my own personal opinions and really mean nothing but I included them so you could get a sense of what I mean. 

When looking for someone to date the physical is one of four quadrants so it's important on it's own but becomes in more relevant when you add the other 3 quads...

What's your definition between hot and sexy? Who would you put where? 

Figure out where you stand and where you want to stand! 

Completion, Creation & Celebration

In December of 2010 my family began what we call a "completion, creation & celebration" dinner. For two years we did this with the community of like minded people that we had created in Montreal as a holiday party. Last year I don't remember doing it. Tonight we brought it back. 

Tonight, December 31st, 2013 we had dinner for my sister-in-law's birthday, which is tomorrow- or I should say in 2 hours from now (only 1 hour when I finally went to publish this post). I went out and bought each of us a helium filled balloon for the celebration part of the process. Some of us elected to only do the last part; I decided that I needed to sit and write out my responses for all three parts. 

My answers... 

Completion

It's now 9:50pm on December 31st, 2013 and time to reflect and complete it... 

My most significant contribution in 2013 would have to be my writing. This year I have discovered that more people than I thought, or ever anticipated, are impacted by my blogs and that is really remarkable for me. 

The one thing that has had the biggest positive impact in my life is by far my family and friends- sure we've had our moments but in the end these are the people who always push me to be better and constantly support my growth. 

I would like to acknowledge myself for having found a sense of balance between work and play. 

I would like to acknowledge my mother for making great strides, even if it's cause some major personal work for her, in her mission to provide for our family. 

The situation that caused me the most pain- had me balling my eyes out for the first time in a long time- was a blessing right away; it showed me that I am more ready to accept another into my life than I had previously thought. 

Thank you 2013 for bringing about much change, some challenges and lots of joy- overall 2013 has been a pretty solid year and I am grateful for all you brought. 

Creation

Time to create 2014...

The one thing I am implementing is taking time to honour and care for myself; my mind, body and soul. By feeding my mind with knowledge, by feeding my body with good food and caring for it through yoga and swimming, and finally by feeding my soul through writing, dancing and facilitating I will be able to continue in my sense of balance. 

I plan to continue to spend as much time as possible with my family and friends because they make me laugh, as long as I continue to make plans with them when I am home I will stay true to my heart and desire to stay connected.

If I suddenly had a million dollars I would travel purely for experience and bring people I loved with me. 

The contribution I want to make in 2014 is printing and talking about my book. I want people to read it and begin to get clarity about what they think and feel about sex. 

I would like my year of 2014 to be full of love, laughter and joy- I want to really allow myself to be vulnerable and open to receiving all that the universe has to offer me so that I may then give it back ten fold. 

Celebration

I am grateful for my friends & family and I am now complete with 2013. 

I move towards 2014 with gratitude & vulnerability and am open to receive love & deep joy. 

Note: If you would like to complete these same questions here they are. 

My tradition is to write them out, by hand, on a piece of paper and then find a pretty box or decorate an envelop and keep it until next year... You could also have a burning ceremony if you want. For the celebration part I am all about a helium filled balloon and sending out the universe (until I plan it better and buy myself bio-degradable lanterns I apologize earth).

Durex- I've got a bone to pick

Recently this commercial has been airing on TV again (I've been watching cheesy Christmas movies so it makes sense that I have seen this commercial about 20 times over the last few days). I enjoy the commercial until the end and then I get really pissed.



So Durex here's my bone- Why the F@$% does HE deserve this?! What about HER?!

I was so annoyed and angry that there was this implication that women are meant to serve or service the men in our lives. Like, I was really angry every time I saw it; to the point that I yelled at the TV a few times and my mom had to remind me that it's just a commercial and that the television could not in fact hear me.

I decided I was gonna write a blog post about it!

When I searched for this commercial online I could not find it on YouTube. I had to cast a bigger search net and finally found a webpage that had embedded the video. And I watched this one, which I had forgotten about:



And this one, although did not made me AS mad, also annoyed me!

So I understand that the commercials go back and forth between male and females talking, the thing that drives me NUTS is that if Durex is for Savvy Lovers that would mean that the best sex ever is for both people right?! So why, WHY couldn't they say, "WE deserve this.", "The best sex ever."

Sex, although it doesn't always involve a second person, these commercials are targeted to couples- two people. Which then makes me seriously wonder why they wouldn't use WE. Don't both people deserve the best sex ever? Why would it just be him or her? Aren't they both experiencing the sexual encounter together?

I just don't get it!!!

I do not often rant in my blogs but I just couldn't help it.